


I Don't Know Where But She Sends Me There

by Madzie2000



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor Deserves Happiness, F/M, Gavin Reed Being an Asshole, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Hank Anderson Adopts Connor, Loss of Virginity, Parent Hank Anderson, Ralph is a good guy, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-06-10 14:53:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madzie2000/pseuds/Madzie2000
Summary: Connor isn't one to live off of his father (even if he does have the same wage which helps Hank more than he knows) so he opts for living a little more independently: in the town where he first learnt to feel. Connor makes himself at home with Hank's niece Claire, but there neighbour Ralph has some rather suspicious company who want nothing more than to see Connor burn...When Connor, Claire and Ralph are forced to face the darkest side of humanity, how will they cope?





	1. A Place to Call Home

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from The Beach Boys 'Good Vibrations', which I used as inspiration for Ralph and Connor's perceptions of Claire
> 
> It also made me sad when I had to write the worst of this fic, so it's a bittersweet title in my opinion.

Connor remembered the streets he was walking through as if it had been yesterday. This was where he met Kara and Alice, two androids on the run from an abusive owner – he only discovered this after a message came through that Kara was no longer a fugitive. The owner admitted to beating the little girl and breaking Kara so badly he had to tell a clerk she was hit by a car.

The mother-like Kara and her ‘daughter’ slept under the roof of a far more unstable deviant who had dutifully protected what he called his family. Now that he was awake, Connor found it quite sweet… but the old version of himself would have found such an action futile. They would have been found whether they were protected by Ralph or not...   
  
Or so his sophisticated and possibly even superior programming would have said.

But now that he was his own being (since the title of person made him sound human in his processing unit, which Connor knew he wasn’t) he learnt about the emotion he had fought to hide from Hank and the other officers at the DPD. It was this freedom that had led him back to this place – the place where he learnt to feel – that he chose to take up residence. He didn’t let Kara go because he thought she was attractive or that Alice was an innocent child: it was both, as well as the gut feeling that they weren’t a danger to the world.

He stood opposite the corner where Ralph stills lives (he saw him painting the outside of his once dilapidated abode despite his disfigurement) and surveyed the area his boarder lived in. Hank waved to Ralph and quirked a brow when he was done.

“Crazy fuck actually did something good for himself… could have ended a lot worse for him if Markus chose violence over love,” Hank observed.

“I have to agree Hank,” Connor said with a small grin “I am also curious to see what this niece of yours looks like – you said earlier that she has a thyroid issue and I have seen few people in Detroit with a stomach bigger than yours.”

“If you wanna end up in a junk pile you’re well on your way kid,” Hank joked.

“Lucky for you my niece is a polite joker… so long as you don’t crack onto her about her size,” he added in warning.

“Why would I crack an egg onto your niece Hank? That seems an odd way to tease her about carrying extra body weight. I know that the condition isn’t induced due to her inactivity or –”   
  
“Okay!” Hank snapped “You won’t pick on her – just stop being so damn formal. Talk like me.”

Hank regretted saying that almost instantly.

Connor grinned mischievously and turned to Hank, his LED rotating and changing from the pale blue to a vibrant yellow. 

“Talk like me,” Connor replied.

He decided to sass Hank and use his memory banks to repeat Hank’s words in Hank’s voice, clear as day.   
  
“Ah Jesus – you take things too literally,” Hank said as he wiped a hand across his face.

Connor knew he was about to be berated and he suddenly switched back to his own voice.

“It was a joke Lieu- Hank,” Connor corrected himself “For once I was the funny one.”

“I bet you were.”

Hank stopped outside of _Lars’ Laundromat_ and opened the door, a bell ringing as he entered with Connor’s small suitcase. Connor followed him inside and they heard a young woman call out to them.

“I’ll be right with you,” said the disembodied voice “Just finishing up the last load for the night – if you want anything washed, leave it…”

Hank’s niece rounded the corner, her figure of little interest to Connor. He saw her flowing ebony hair and her icy blue eyes sparkling when she caught sight of Hank beside him.

“Uncle Hank! I thought you weren’t coming here until tomorrow?” 

“Sorry kid, but your new tenant couldn’t wait another night – if he annoys you, tell me and I’ll sort him out.”

Hank suddenly dropped his serious expression to Connor’s surprise and closed his niece in a tight but gentle hug.

“You got tall since I last saw you Claire,” Hank said as he held his niece at arm’s length.

“You haven’t seen me since I turned thirteen – I’m almost twenty-six now Uncle Hank,” Claire said contemptuously “But at least you called and sent cards on my birthday.”

Connor felt that this was the time to introduce himself and held out a hand.

“My name is Connor – I work with Hank at the DPD,” he said evenly, not betraying his internal processors observation that she had striking eyes.

Claire took Connor’s hand and shook it, a small smile decorating her lips. He let go after a moment and felt the warmth of her hand linger behind, a small electric current running back to his main processor: it made blood flood his cheeks, giving them a blue tint. Claire noticed but ignored Connor’s flustered expression.

“Would you like to see your room Connor? It’s upstairs,” Claire said as she indicated a set of stairs blocked off by a small gate.

Claire dug a key card out of her apron’s pocket (Connor hadn’t noticed it because he was too busy analysing her facial features) and waved it over a small black strip on the bannister. The gate suddenly slid back into the wall and a cover moved over it to keep the mechanisms free of dust. Connor noted the odd angle of the incision in the wall, the scratches around the corners and slightly uneven edges. The evidence pointed to a ‘DIY project’ as Hank called it; Connor preferred to classify Hank’s plumbing skills as chaotic.

If this had been made by Hank’s niece, it meant she likely understood the Android’s deviancy as a marvel rather than the virus which CyberLife had claimed it to be.

Snapping his mind back to the situation at hand, Connor found himself taking the suitcase from Hank and – after a quick hug and a teasing comment from Claire – the two of them headed up stairs.

“Keep him on a leash Claire,” Hank called as the little bell rang out through the laundromat “He has a bad habit of barking too much.”

Connor’s brow furrowed and his head tilted, further reiterating Hank’s point.

“That’s okay – if he’s lucky he might get a bone!” Claire said with a quick wink at Connor.

“Lieutenant, why would she give me something that dogs eat?” Connor called down the stairs “I don’t eat food!”

Hank just laughed loudly and said something about Connor’s intelligence only being related to his work, not human interaction. Despite not understanding the joke, Connor agreed that he needed to learn to be more casual and understanding of people. Choosing the best option in his long-term memory, Connor chose a new approach to his lack of understanding. 

“Claire?” he asked gently, tyring not to startle her as they got to the top of the stairs.

“Yes Connor?”

“Would you be able to explain that joke to me someday? I don’t seem to understand it and judging by what Lie – what Hank said – it might be something that could be misconstrued,” he explained.

“Alright, tell you what,” Claire said as she slid a key from her pocket and began unlocking a door on their right “I’ll explain it to you now if you promise not to say it to someone who you don’t know well.”

Connor nodded as the door opened and Claire saw it in her peripheral vision, so she began.

“Dogs like to eat bones, right? Well, I knew Hank was likening you to a dog, so I made a sexual innuendo. To ‘bone’ someone is an innuendo alluding sex… that make sense to you or am I speaking gibberish?” she added in a moment of panic.

“Perfectly clear actually Claire,” Connor said almost immediately as they walked into his apartment “I’ll be sure to scare Detective Reed by using it to describe something he’d assume Androids engage in intercourse with.”

Claire laughed and handed him the key to the apartment. “I assume you’d say something like ‘One more word out of you and I’ll bone your computer Detective Reed’?” Claire asked quickly, curious to see how Connor would handle himself with this newfound arsenal.

If she was honest, she didn’t mind Connor, ass-and-all… but she couldn’t think like that. He was practically a relative, right?

“I would prefer something relating to computers if that’s my chosen topic – dogs and computers don’t work well… perhaps a pun on technological terms?” he asked seriously.

“I’d go with planting a minor virus and saying ‘Detective, does your computer need a shag?’. When he asks what you said, say ‘Does your computer need a de-frag’. He’ll lose his mind and you’ll make him look the fool!” 

Connor’s LED spun yellow, an angry red and then faded to pale blue.

“You have a way with words unlike the rest of your family,” Connor said, making a face that told Claire all she needed to know.

“I suppose you don’t need to know where the toilet is, but if you need to do any maintenance or clean yourself the bathroom is through that door on the far left, the middle door is my room and the far right is a wardrobe.”

For a moment Connor’s LED changed back to yellow as he stored away the necessary information.

“I have been debriefed about bathroom etiquette multiple times by your Uncle to avoid any mishaps while I’m here so you needn’t worry about me invading your privacy,” Connor said with a wary tone and an almost expressionless look on his face.

Claire knew he didn’t have data on how to interact when a situation arose which involved awkwardness and seriousness in combination, so he opted for being nonchalant.

It worked.

“I appreciate the effort you’ve gone through but I’ll say this now – if there’s an emergency, like a fire or a home invasion, you have every right to enter the bathroom or my room even if it’s locked. Otherwise, stick to the couch.”

Connor saw the fold-out set up for him in front of the television and he tilted his head again. His LED spun and she knew he was thinking hard, because for a moment it turned the angry shade of red again.

“Why is it big enough for two people and laid out in front of the television when I am the only one using it? Wouldn’t you like to relax and enjoy a movie once in a while when I am not here?”

“I will – Hank gave me your schedule and we happen to have the same day off,” she said with a smile “We’ll both be too busy to rest and the time in between we can use to get better acquainted. Have a good night Connor.”

They smiled at one another and for just a moment, their eyes were locked, unable to move. Claire cleared her throat and blushed, colour blooming in her cheeks.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” she said as she opened her bedroom door “Ralph is a good friend of mine and I plan on getting his scars fixed up so he can get himself a job. Would you mind helping him through everything with me? He’s a bit like a scared little boy even though he’s a grown man.”

Unsure of what to say, Connor nodded in understanding and they went their separate ways. Connor walked into the bathroom and changed into a set of old boxer shorts Hank had bought for him at a dollar store. They were decorated with science fiction characters and Connor always named the characters before he went into low power mode. He probably loved R2-D2, C3PO and the other ‘droids’ so much because they were like him – machines with a personality.


	2. Ralph Likes Claire - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Connor are invited for a day of home repairs, but neither of them are expecting such a warm welcome...

Connor exited low power mode the next morning when his program alerted him to the time – Saturday morning, eight o’clock on the dot. He sat upright and Claire walked past him in a tank top and a pair of shorts which were quite flattering. To his surprise, they were a matching pair, decorated with the Star Wars logo. Fighting the urge to smile, Connor noted that he wouldn’t look as good in the pink and purple get-up. Claire saw that he was awake and waved.

“Morning,” she said cheerily “Have a good dream?”

She realised her mistake and her mouth opened a little wider, her head was turned slightly and her eyes squinted. She was both unsure of herself and trying to avoid offending him.   
  
“I mean… if Androids had dreams,” she corrected herself, the odd expression falling from her face soon after.

“I can recall data from memory and use my programming to make a situation play out however I like – I tend to use it on the rare occasion that I cannot recall someone’s name and then enter into full low power mode,” Connor said with a smile.

He shifted and swung his legs over the side of the fold-out and neglected to acknowledge his state of undress. Claire however, allowed herself to stare at his semi-nude form. He only seemed to have hair on his head, his stomach was taught and toned and his skin was dotted lightly with freckles. While most people had a slight glow about them, Connor had a rather washed out complexion due to the Thirium or ‘blue blood’ owned by Androids and humans with CyberLife parts. Connor suddenly noticed Claire staring and walked over to the wardrobe to get changed. From behind the door he swore and hoped she wouldn’t hear him. For some reason, it seemed appropriate considering he had not wanted to be a bad tenant and there he was, almost completely naked in front of Hank’s only niece!

Shifting these notions to his short-term memory, Connor put on some jeans, a blue shirt and the vest he had used to infiltrate Jericho.

When he emerged, Claire gave a wolf whistle.

“Hide your daughters and hide your sons,” Claire stated with a cheeky smile.

“Was that another innuendo?” Connor asked “It makes me sound… what did Hank call it? Oh – sleazy,” he said with an uncertain nod.

Claire took a swig of the coffee in her hands and pointed to the apartment door.

“We’re going across the street to see Ralph – he says you’re a nice guy because you let Kara and Alice go free and didn’t pressure him too much with the investigation,” Claire said with a serious expression.   
  
“Considering you hadn’t become a Deviant at that time, that’s pretty human.”

Connor considered this for a moment, replaying his actions in his head like a movie. He suddenly looked over at Claire and gestured toward her.

“I have to agree, but I think you should get dressed or else I’ll have to lock him up,” Connor said before he even registered the implications of his words.

Claire spat coffee into the air and she clasped a hand to her mouth, swallowing what was left in her mouth before chuckling.

“Okay smartass, get downstairs before I take you to a comedy club instead of Ralph’s place.”

Connor left and played the entire scenario back in his head, only he slapped himself in the face for his lack of foresight. Ralph was only interested in protecting innocent people, not having relations with them. He would be too unstable to enter into that kind of relationship with Claire… and Android’s meant to be seen in public were not equipped with genitalia like the Androids at the Eden Club.

Connor walked down the stairs and waited at the bottom for Claire. For a moment he was lost in simulations of a crime he and Hank had been investigating since last week. A band of murderers had attacked young women and their partners throughout Detroit and made sure to spread out the location of said attacks. He couldn’t use his superior processing abilities to pinpoint the location of these criminals, but he was certain of one thing: the were living in Detroit and they were growing restless of murder. It crossed his mind that someone might attack Claire now that they were in an apartment together, but these men only performed the crime in single-level houses, not apartments where a neighbour might see in. Besides, if he acted like an Android employee then nobody would know he was a tenant as well.

There was a sudden ring of the Laundromat’s bell and Connor started when a familiar blonde sauntered into the room and smiled over at him.

“Ralph hasn’t seen Connor in a few months,” Ralph said with his wide, toothy grin “How is Connor?”

Connor was always wary of Ralph, but after the message he had received from Kara and the way Ralph had waved to him and Hank, he didn’t seem so bad.

“I’m doing well enough – are you enjoying repairing your house?” Connor asked, hoping to move around the topic of his scars or having them corrected.

“Ralph enjoys the work – when he wears a mask nobody is afraid and he can have nice conversations with Claire because nobody calls him names. Ralph doesn’t like being called bad names.”

Connor understood what he meant – Detective Reed would have a field day if he ever met Ralph and he hoped to RA9 that it never happened.

“Well I’m a Detective, not a bully. I wouldn’t do anything to offend you Ralph,” Connor said as he held out a hand “I hope we can learn to get along and become good friends.”

Ralph’s LED changed to yellow for a while and he shifted on his feet before taking Connor’s hand and aggressively shaking it.

“Ralph would like that too,” Ralph said with a wide smile “Claire is a good human.”

His mismatched eyes suddenly fixed themselves on something moving down the staircase and he let go of Connor’s hand to move out of Claire’s way.

“Morning Ralph,” Claire said with a smile “Finish painting the outside of the house yet?”

Ralph’s LED spun and he looked across the street before turning back to the pair.

“Ralph will need help to finish it before he can do the inside,” he admitted, his smile fading just a little for a moment before he took hold of Claire’s hand.

“Is something wrong Ralph?” Claire asked when his LED turned red.

“Ralph saw a news report about bad people in Detroit – they hurt people who are together like a family but don’t have a little boy or girl. Does Claire think that’s bad? Ralph thinks it is horrible.”

Claire shot Connor a confused yet unsettled look and he realised that she hadn’t seen any newspapers recently… and the reports about the grisly murders and sexual assaults were not being shown on television to avoid scaring the public to excess.

“I know it’s scary Ralph, but we’ve got nothing to worry about,” Claire said calmly despite Connor’s sensors telling him that her heart rate had increased significantly “I’m sure none of the attacks have occurred nearby… right Connor?”

Connor froze and his LED went red. What could he say to calm them both? As far as the pattern of attack was concerned, they were statistically out of danger, but the MO was changing quickly from aggravated assault to murder to sexual assault. Worse yet, this area of Detroit hadn't been hit. He decided to go half way between and combine the facts into a single sensible statement.

“The attackers are unlikely to attack these buildings, but it’s possible they will attack in this neighbourhood,” he said flatly “But since nobody around here lives in single-storey housing, we should be safe. There isn’t any reason to worry about your safety Ralph.”

Connor knew what Ralph was going to say the moment the last word left his mouth, but it was too late. He was about to say it and he would be the ‘plastic prick’ Reed always claimed he was.

“Ralph was not worried about himself. Ralph was worried about Claire.”

Claire winced as Ralph’s fingernails dug into her skin and she pulled back a little, but he held on.  
  
“Ralph,” Claire said quietly, followed by a small whimper “I need you to let go of my hand… you’re hurting me.”

Ralph’s LED stayed red for a moment longer, but the instant it changed to yellow he slowly released Claire’s hand. He saw the blood and pulled a clean rag from a pocket in his cloak, patting at the back of her hand where he could see crimson crescents.  
  
“Ralph is sorry he hurt Claire. It won’t happen again,” he said as he gently wiped up one last droplet of blood and wrapped Claire’s hand up.

“Thank you Ralph and I accept your apology,” Claire said, slowly taking her hand back.

Connor was surprised to see Ralph’s features soften for a moment and his LED blinked blue before reverting to yellow as he opened the Laundromat’s front door. Claire walked out and Connor followed behind, careful to give her some room.

While she appeared calm, she was clearly watching out for Ralph’s temper and his triggers.

He never meant to hurt people or scare them, but his software instabilities made him somewhat of a liability when it came to interacting with both humans **and** Androids. As they crossed the street, Connor noted the beauty of Claire’s flowing ebony locks gracefully draped over her shoulders, blending in with her black shirt and the bell-bottom jeans that hugged her rear, giving her a full figure rather than making her appear ‘large’, as Hank preferred to put it. Her black shoes were quite ragged and Connor was suddenly glad he’d chosen his cheaper clothing to wear, as it seemed they’d all be painting; a rather messy task according to Hank’s expertise in interior decoration.

“Ralph has paint under the back porch – Ralph wanted it to be safe but he couldn’t leave it inside in case it fell on the floor,” he said chirpily.  
  
“Good thinking Ralph,” Claire said, as her heart rate fell back into a steady rhythm.

Connor stopped scanning Claire and decided to give her privacy like any other human would do. Ralph handed them both a paint roller each while Ralph took a brush half the size of the rollers, tending to the edges around windows.

Claire watched him for a moment before picking up a roller tray and washing it out so she and Connor could share it.

Then they got to work.


	3. Ralph Likes Claire - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ralph has something to say and Connor knows what he wants - Claire. But Connor's not sure he#s stable enough be her neighbour, let alone a lover.

They had been at the largest wall for an hour, but finally, the exterior of Ralph’s home was painted a nice shade of blue – bright, but not flashy. Claire had asked a friend from Michigan to come down (all expenses paid) and fix the worst issues with the house, particularly the holes in the floor and the warped walls. She and Ralph had leant a hand, which made the work take a month, rather than the estimated four. It was to both Claire and her friend Nathan’s advantage that Ralph could stay awake four hours and continue working while they slept.

Claire walked back to the Laundromat and collected a small bottle of flavoured water, as well as a small package of Thirium. Ralph consumed half the Thirium pack and Connor took the other half, only to see that he also took a sip of Claire’s water.   
He quirked a brow and Claire had already begun answering his question before he had time to ask it.

“It’s got a subtle flavour that’s suited to Androids and humans – I saw it a few days ago and since you were coming I figured it’d be something we could all try… any good Ralph?”

Ralph had been making an odd face for a while and had yet to swallow the water, but when he did, he stared at Connor. 

“Ralph doesn’t know what this flavour is called but it tastes nice. Ralph thinks Connor will know what it is,” Ralph said as he passed the water to Connor.

Connor took it with apprehension but also took a mouthful and his sensors which usually identified Deviant or suspect’s blood told him that this drink contained trace amounts of mango juice.

Suddenly he initiated a search and he was given a few million records on what mangoes are.

This sensation - somewhere between taste and information - was new to him and he spat the water out, a warning flashing in his mind as the sensory overload temporarily rendered him human in his reaction. He seemed to dislike it, but he took a small sip and realised that this taste was quite nice – he just had too much at once.

He swallowed this time and the flavour lingered behind for a little while, then disappeared.

“The flavour of the water was mango Ralph… we both took too much the first time around so it was too strong to identify,” Connor said as he passed the bottle over to Claire.

While Connor and Ralph began discussing the wonder that was a shared human-Android food item, Claire took a sip of the water herself and found it quite refreshing. It wasn’t a strong flavour, but to Connor and Ralph, it would definitely have been too overpowering.

Connor found his internal processor giving him a strange command which he knew was not normal – it told him to keep Ralph away from Claire. Connor wasn’t blind – he knew Ralph had a connection with Claire and that Claire could see the kindness behind Ralph’s anger and fear, but it didn’t stop him worrying. That was the right word, wasn’t it? Perhaps he was thinking of concern…

“Ralph would like to take Claire on a date,” Ralph said without flinching “Would Claire like that?”

Claire froze and Connor used his hyper-sensitive hearing to pick up the sound of her heartbeat racing like a thoroughbred.

“Why not take the Traci who used to work at Eden Club? She wants a relationship and you don’t have the necessary… upgrades she would want to avoid,” she said carefully, trying to avoid mentioning herself.

“Does Claire think Ralph would hurt her? Ralph does not like to hurt people but sometimes he doesn’t think,” Ralph spat more to himself than Claire as his LED changed to red.

“Ralph, you’re my friend,” Claire said as she sat a hand on his knee “But I couldn’t be your girlfriend. Someday you’ll find the right woman for you, Android or not – it just won’t be me.”

Ralph’s LED turned an angry red despite his smile dropping and his only good eye becoming watery, a tear slipping down his cheek.

Claire stood up and Ralph did as well; it was a bit too quick for Connor’s liking and he kept an eye on the both of them. For a moment, Ralph clenched his fist and Connor prepared to get involved, but instead Claire sat a hand on his shoulder and he leant down a little. She placed a gentle kiss to his cheek and Ralph suddenly closed his arms around her. He was too shy to repeat the kiss, but he knew a hug was a suitable reaction. 

“Ralph knows Claire wants to fix his scars. Ralph is not angry. He wants to stop scaring people he likes,” Ralph said with a shiver.   
  
Claire hugged Ralph a little tighter and Connor let the tension in his artificial muscles slowly dissipate. Ralph was as scared as he was scary and Claire knew it as well as anybody else.

 

Some Time Later…

 

With the bottom floor painted and Ralph being quite calm about Claire’s rejection, Connor found it easier to interact with her. Occasionally he would see Ralph glance over to Claire and stare at her for a solid minute, but she was blissfully unaware. Connor was not focused on keeping himself stable and suddenly fell, his hand landing in the paint. He stood up and scraped his hand against the side of the tray and apologised to Ralph who was not interested in him. Ralph was focused entirely on Claire, who had whipped a rag out of her pocket and begun wiping at Connor’s hand.

Connor could feel her pulse through the sensors in his hands, just like the small flood of warmth against his cool artificial skin created by a blanket of nanobots. They linked together like a giant chain and he was the only one in control of them now that CyberLife had begun giving Androids the right to control everything else themselves. Ralph’s LED turned red, but Connor and Claire didn’t notice: they had locked eyes again. At such close proximity, Connor could pick up the blood which had flooded Claire’s cheeks and she could see Thirium do the same in his.

“You should be careful Connor,” Claire said as she dropped the rag into his hand “You might get paint somewhere and damage your internal circuitry.”

Ralph clenched his brush but continued painting the inner walls a crisp shade of white.

Still, his anger went unnoticed.

“Thank you, Claire,” Connor said quickly when he saw Ralph staring at them with a yellow LED “I’ll remember that the next time we come over. Sorry again Ralph.”

Ralph was quiet and went back to painting around doorways and windowsills, but then smiled at them both.   
  
“Ralph thinks Claire and Connor should go and replenish themselves. They only have two days to relax before they go back to work and Ralph made them work even more,” he said quickly.

“Oh… well, I guess that means our time is up,” Claire said in surprise.

Usually Ralph would make her sleep the night, but clearly the rejection was starting to get on his nerves.

“Well I’ll see you ‘round Ralph,” Claire said as she set down her roller and walked toward him.

Ralph met her in the middle of the room near the fireplace and he locked his hands around her upper arm, quickly leaning down to place an eager, but somehow gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Have a good evening Claire,” Ralph said before releasing her and going to his room which Connor knew to be covered in the name RA9.

Connor wasn’t offended by a lack of goodbyes for him, but he did keep that stored away for later use. Ralph wasn’t dangerous unless people angered him and he knew for certain that rejection would anger any human.

He had a right to be worried.


	4. To Upgrade or Not to Upgrade? That's Connor's Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you weren't clued in by the title, you may need to run some diagnostics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That Chapter Summary above may have seemed rude but really, the title is self explanatory. It is also in everybody's best interest to laugh before the next few chapters are out due to it's saddening content.

Connor and Claire happened to wake up at the same time every morning during the week and Connor learnt her routine faster than he had Hank’s.

That was probably because Hank didn’t have one.

At 6, they would both get up. Claire would sometimes use the bathroom to get dressed, but closer to the end of the week she would be dressed (but not groomed) when she left her room. At 6:30 Claire has had breakfast, taken her medication and will brush her hair. By 6:40 she’s in her full uniform which she has washed at the end of each night and heads downstairs to switch on lights, turn on machines and check that the soap and washing powder dispensers are full. If not, she re-stocks them and then places the till back up on the counter once it is removed from the safe under the front desk. She opens the door at 7 on the dot and at least two people walk in. While they are focusing on their needs, Claire sneakily places a stack of heatproof cups and a jug of cocoa, sachets of sugar and milk onto a tray. She leaves it nearby with a sign which reads _Free to customers_.

By the time Connor has come back home in the afternoon, she has a thin sheen of sweat across her forehead and small patches of sweat under her armpits. Even with all the walking and lifting she does, Connor can tell she is frustrated by her size. On the Wednesday, he saw her hold up a shirt he estimated to be three sizes smaller than Claire’s – she wore 14’s at the largest and a customer wore something in size 6, practically a child’s size. Claire stared at it longingly for a while, then looked to her gut.

Any human or Android could see the sadness in her eyes that afternoon and Connor knew his news in the present wouldn’t make her feel any better.

He had been at the DPD when a report came in, announcing that Androids would soon be given the ability to dampen their sampling sensors and actually taste food, have a recycling system installed and be able to copulate.

Of course, they would not be able to reproduce like humans – that was a solely human ability.

At first Connor expected to feel delighted about such a thing, but he realised quite quickly that he was more worried about Claire’s opinion on Androids being able to interact intimately with humans, considering the fact of Ralph's infatuation with her.

If that was anything to go by, getting her opinion was the first step toward making a real friend – Ralph acted like an opponent battling for Claire’s affection. Connor didn’t dislike Claire, but he knew he lacked the right programming to understand things the way Marcus and the others did.  
  
At heart, he was still a machine. He was awake, but he had yet to stay that way.

Snapping his lenses back to the cup of Thirium in his hand – which he thought looked like blue cordial, whatever that was – he let himself move back into the present mindset.

“Talk to Claire and don’t be so formal,” he reminded himself aloud. The door opened and Claire walked in from a rather busy Friday night.

“How was your first week in the apartment Connor?” she asked as she removed her shoes and sat them on the shoe rack.

“It was nice,” he answered honestly “We were able to relax over the weekend and get our work done while still being civil to each other and Ralph.”

Claire smiled and sat down across from Connor with a nod, staring into his mug. Well, **her** mug.

“Drinking Thirium is the fastest was to fuel up, isn’t it?” Claire observed as Connor took a rather large mouthful.

The way his eyes locked on the mug when he’d swallowed and the tightness of his mouth seemed to move to one side gave him away – something was bothering him.

And it was serious.

Claire chose to use the same approach with Connor as she had with Ralph for as long as he’d been living across the street. To Connor it would seem as though he was a child, but she had to treat him as such for all his innocent observations and ideas. Claire moved her chair and sat beside him, holding a hand out for him to take.  
  
Connor snapped out of his staring competition with Garfield and put down the mug, taking Claire’s hand with apprehension.

“Connor,” Claire said with a soft expression and determination in her tone “whatever’s bothering you, tell me. No matter how stupid it sounds or how weird you think it makes you, I’ll only tell you the truth.”

Connor’s lower lip trembled for a moment and he pinned it down to a temporary system malfunction, so he ignored it and tried to speak.  
  
Despite knowing what he wanted to say, he seemed to grammatically stumble all over the place.

“I was at the DPD today and somebody was talking about Androids being able to truly understand humans when we are given the ability to dampen our analysis of taste and experience it properly. Only this time it won’t be so strong. And we can –”

Connor cut himself off. Maybe he shouldn’t tell her about the genitalia and reproduction. She might think he was trying to be sleazy and treat her without respect. He wouldn’t do that to someone he had gotten so close to, but he certainly couldn’t let Ralph have that advantage. He was unstable and if he could hurt Claire, he would probably do it the moment he had the chance.

“… and Androids in government-based positions like mine can have it all installed for free,” he corrected himself “It would be too expensive to have all the corrections made to Ralph and give him the same opportunity, even if I saved up a year’s wages.”  
  
THough he knew what he'd said was technically true, Claire raised an eyebrow and yanked her hands out of Connor’s. She suddenly leaned over him as if he’d become part of her own personal investigation.

Despite her small stature, she was actually beginning to scare him.

“You’re lying Connor,” Claire said as she leant in toward him another inch “I heard all about the new upgrades Androids can receive if they pay up: a fully functioning digestive system and the ability for humans and Androids to have sex.”  
  
Claire picked up her Garfield mug and splashed the contents all over Connor’s uniform.

“Don’t you **ever** treat me like an idiot Connor!” she spat with a pointed finger “Just because you wouldn’t like Ralph to screw around with me doesn’t give you the right to take his place!”

Connor was still processing what was going on as Claire walked to her bedroom door and wrenched it shut, the loud bang making him jump in his seat.  
  
One word escaped Connor’s mouth and he was sure Hank would be proud.  
  
“Shit.”


	5. To Upgrade or Not to Upgrade? That's Connor's Question Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't catch on by reading the title, Connor suggests a systems diagnostic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I didn't Madzie. I said you had a screw loose: Hank said that's how I should describe you.
> 
> (Dude, seriously? Right now?)
> 
> (Are we whispering because I was rude or because you have a screw loose?)
> 
> AAARGH!

Connor was determined to make Claire talk to him again. She hadn’t spoken to him since Friday night and now it was Sunday morning. Her eyes were boring into his forehead from across the table and every moment she was quiet, the longer his main processor forced him to revisit the idea of Claire planning his murder. Silence was a killer to the mood was something Connor found to be quite true, regardless of the situations he found himself in.

“I’m taking Ralph into the city with me – he needs to get out of this small town,” Connor said as he replaced his clean tie.

He had become so skilled at tying a Windsor knot that all Claire could see was a blur of pale beige and navy blue of his DPD issue tie and his hands. She spotted a small plastic bag containing one of Connor’s three suits. He didn’t sweat like humans but the idea of wearing the same thing day in and day out, particularly if it was soiled like Friday night, seemed unsanitary.

It was the one she had said would work for Ralph if he ever abandoned his rags that he slung over his narrow shoulders and wrapped over his face. Now that they weren’t talking, she figured he would run simulations of their previous conversations to keep himself company, much like his supposed 'dreams'.

Connor saw Claire’s expression grow lax and he took this as an opportunity to leave. She would want him to go so she could calm herself entirely – by the time he and Ralph got back from the CyberLife dispensary, she would be welcoming toward both of them. In turn, Ralph would be less adversarial and have the confidence and appearance of a man worthy of Claire.

This was going to be a **very** good day.

 

Meanwhile…

 

Ralph had been out in his yard for a good portion of the night talking to the DPD officer who was in charge of checking up on him. Being unstable and unused to change, it was a necessary precaution in his case. Detective Reed was an enemy of Connor’s, so Ralph knew this human would be willing to help him win Claire. He had brought Ralph an Android who had been previously dealt with Connor's less animated self; the self that made Ralph hide his family. Daniel was now hideously scarred and had a single clean bullet hole through his skull. On the right angle, Reed and Ralph could see straight through it. Of course, neither of them knew that they had both moved to see this phenomenon on purpose, on the same day.

“Ralph wants to know how this plan will work,” he said to Daniel as Detective Reed looked out of the upstairs window anxiously.

He wanted to see Connor's smug little face again just so he could punch it and his time was coming.

“It’s easy – you get your upgrade, show Claire how much you care for her and we keep Connor out of the way,” Daniel said with a malicious grin.

Ralph smiled, completely unaware that the man in question was walking to his front door. There was a knock and Ralph jumped up, ready to become more man than machine.

“Ralph will be there in a minute!” Ralph called toward his front door.  
  
He turned to Daniel and Reed, giving them a nod.

“Ralph will do it… but should he take Connor’s keys?” Ralph asked, brow furrowed.

“No… just leave the door open so we can get in,” Reed said as he and Daniel made their way to the back porch “We’ll figure out the rest ourselves when you get back from the dispensary.”

Ralph gave a curt nod and ran to his front door, letting Connor in a few seconds after Reed and Daniel hid behind the doorway, staring out at the newer metallic fence as a conversation began.

“Hi Ralph,” Connor said as he held out a bag to his companion for the day “I thought you might like to wear something nice when you got back from the dispensary; women seem to prefer men who are well-dressed and these would suit you. Claire said so herself.”

Ralph immediately perked up at the idea of Claire seeing him fresh, clean and whole, so he somewhat politely snatched the bag up and pulled his cloak over his head, the bag tucked under his arm.

“Ralph thinks we should go now,” he said eagerly “Connor would not want to miss the bus.”

 The drive to the dispensary was short, but Connor knew buses weren’t Ralph’s first option: people didn’t accept those with a physical disfigurement at face value, Android or not. As soon as they walked in through the dispensary doors, a female Android took Ralph’s cloak, evaluating his facial scarring. She was the same model as Kara, but her nanobots had multiplied. The result was a woman who looked almost exactly like Kara, aside from her long strawberry-blonde hair, the indentations and Thirium visible along one cheek, marring what Ralph considered a beautiful face.

“Not all humans are nice, are they WR600?” she said with a knowing look.

The Android’s skin moved back to reveal blackened markings on her white alloy cheek before the nanobots knitted back together. Ralph said nothing as she escorted him into a room and the procedure began.

All the people around him weren’t people – they were Android designed to make him feel relaxed and calm. They put him in low-power mode and began assessing the damage, beginning with his scarring and working their way down.

Connor however, was escorted by a human to another room. He was allowed to stay awake while they removed sections of his abdomen and groin, replacing different areas of internal servos and circuitry and Thirium piping with the new upgrades. When they had to install the artificial oesophagus upgrade however, he was put into low power mode.

Upon waking, Connor felt pressure between his thighs – it was as if his clothes were constricting something, but he didn’t know what.

That was, until he recalled where he was and why he was there.

His mouth seemed to be different as well. He could feel saliva but there was no taste to it. Beside him was a cup which had the word ‘taste’ on it.

Connor got up from the long table he was on and replaced his shirt and jacket, glad that they had saved him the awkwardness of seeing his newly-equipped genitalia in such a public place. He lifted the cup and smelt the contents. Immediately, his sensors picked up a scent – orange soda – and he took a small sip. It was the strangest thing he had ever had the joy of experiencing. While the bubbles tickled his tongue, the sugars were being processed into a Thirium substitute to reduce it's consumption rate globally. The rest… well, he didn’t need to tell himself or anybody else about the waste disposal system.

Connor left the room and he tried to ignore the odd sensation of clothing against his more sensitive skin, unconsciously rolling his shoulders backward and the soft fabric of his clothing brushed against new sensors placed inside the nanobots programming.

He was so lost in the sensation of humanity that he had been welcomed into, he didn’t realise Ralph was making similar movements right beside him. When Ralph saw Connor, he smiled.

“I feel different – what about you?” Ralph said, his voice clearer, slightly deeper and his blue eyes staring back at Connor with enthusiasm.

For a moment Connor was disarmed by his calm smile rather than the maniacal one he (and assuredly Claire) was used to.

“Definitely different, but it’s a good kind of different,” Connor admitted as he looked over Ralph’s profile.

Without the dirty, torn clothes and the scarring across his left cheek, he looked quite adorable. Like the picture Hank had of Sumo as a puppy.

For a second too long, Connor admired the elegance of Ralph’s thin face and sallow cheeks, only to see him quirk a brow.

“You seem a bit distant… maybe we should go back home,” Ralph said coolly, the unease at his new voice coming through a little “Claire will worry about us being away for so long.”

Connor’s LED went red when he realised what they’d done: they were as close to human as any Android could ever be and now they were about to go back to Claire.

It’d be a culture shock to smell coffee, taste food, feel arousal… and she was practically their only guide.

The guide that one of them was fighting to protect and the other was hoping to test his new upgrades on.

Or maybe, just maybe, Ralph saw it the other way around. 

“I think perhaps we should stay away from Claire for a while,” Connor said calmly as he paid the account for Ralph at the front desk “These upgrades are new and if they malfunction somehow we might do something stupid.”

“I don’t think we’ll scare her Connor,” Ralph said with a pleasant smile as they exited the building “She’d be more curious to see us eat and interact like humans do: kind of like watching a plant grow from a seedling.”

Connor had to agree, but his reservations sat in the back of his mind, waiting to be proved right or wrong. Whatever happened, he wouldn’t let himself or Ralph take advantage of Claire’s hospitality.

Or Claire herself. 


	6. The Good, The Bad... and Daniel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor is surprised to see an old acquaintance who should be 6 feet under scrap metal.
> 
> Things take a turn for the worst when a bug enters Ralph's system and causes him to become exactly what Connor and Claire feared most...

Ralph refused to walk in front of Connor on their way back to Claire’s apartment.

Connor calculated that it was his way of making an entrance and he honestly didn’t care. Claire would know they were different and either hate or love what they’d chosen to do. As Connor opened the laundromat’s main door, Ralph stopped.

“Could I borrow the keys?” he said as he looked down at his clean attire “I’d want to take my clothes home while you tell Claire about today.”

Connor saw Ralph’s LED flash yellow for a moment, but he didn’t see any issue with it. He was getting used to his new speech patterns and his appearance, so why should he be concerned?

“Sure. I’ll go on ahead and hope she doesn’t throw Thirium on me again,” Connor said as he gave Ralph a gentle clap to the shoulder.

Ralph smiled and accepted the keys, the two men going their separate ways.

 

While Connor was walking up the stairs to his shared apartment with Claire, Ralph walked through his front door, feeling refreshed. He walked in and saw Reed and Daniel who had been there for a while, avoiding windows and any of the passer-by who might see them.

“Got everything you need now Ralph?” Reed asked as he finished polishing the barrel of his gun “I’d hate to start without you.”

Daniel looked up and he was mesmerised. He was looking at a newer, younger version of himself. Ralph was slimmer, less stocky, and without those gaping holes in his face, even attractive.

But he wasn’t here to admire pretty boys or girls. He was here to ruin Connor Anderson’s life, thus avenging his own death and the loss of the one person he loved in the world: Emma.

_Pity his ‘father’ won’t be there to weep over him._

“I have what I need… but do we have to hurt them?” Ralph asked hesitantly “I know you don’t like Connor but Claire shouldn't get mixed up in all of this.”

Reed, who had sat a chair against the wall by the fireplace, aimed his gun at Ralph and made a mocking ‘pow’. He even moved the gun back as if he’d fired a shot. Ralph got the message before Reed had even begun to threaten him, but he listened anyway.

“You back out and your new taste buds will be so far down your throat you’ll taste Thirium through your ass,” he grumbled maliciously.

Ralph’s sensors told him Reed was drunk and angry after losing his job to Connor earlier in the week because of his un-professional conduct; at that point in time, he could see why.

Still, he had set this plan in motion and these men were here. He would get Claire, they could deal with Connor and things would play out well if he planned his actions carefully.

 

In the apartment, Claire was washing up a few dishes she’d left on the sink. Her Garfield mug was sitting separate from the others for Connor to clean, along with a spoon he began using to stir his Thirium like she stirred her coffee. At first, she found it odd, but the way he sped up when she glared at him made him seem all the more human.

When Connor entered the room, she looked at him from head to toe. He wasn’t looking at her in the way he usually would. After years of bad dates and experiencing that same look in human men – the slight dilation of their pupils, the way their chest moved a little quicker with their breathing, a flush in his cheeks…

She had no doubt in her mind that Connor was aroused. It was odd considering that he’d already confirmed for her multiple times that he had no desire for sex. In fact, he seemed to be more interested in preventing Ralph from becoming a swain rather than taking up that position himself. Then again, that was why they’d fought and here he was, trying to hide the sensations he'd never felt before. But like humans, he could change his mind at any time.

Pushing her thoughts aside, Claire locked eyes with Connor’s, finally speaking.

“I know where you went Connor,” Claire said as she dropped the last piece of cutlery into the sink and took off her rubber gloves.

“How?” Connor asked.

“Unlike an Android, I can tell when someone wants to have sex with me,” Claire said with a gentle lift of her brows "That means you went to the dispensary."

Connor suddenly put up his hands and began moving them unconsciously as he spoke. Another human action he had picked up on.

“I didn’t want you to think I was a hypocrite if I went and got the upgrades without Ralph…"  
  
Suddenly his brow knit together and he seemed almost disgusted with himself.

"Why did I tell you what was running through my processors?” he asked in exasperation.

“Did you just admit to having feelings for me?” Claire said as she crossed her arms.

Connor furrowed his brow at the realisation that he couldn't and hadn't denied it, opting for silence rather than backing himself into a metaphorical corner. When he took a breath to give her an answer, there was a knock at the door.

Claire huffed in annoyance and murmured “Saved by the bell,” before opening the apartment door.

For a moment she thought she was staring at Ralph, but when Claire saw an exposed jaw and a grin so evil the Devil himself would cower in fear, she realised her blonde visitor wasn’t Ralph. Claire shrieked and slammed the door, taking hold of Connor's jacket to compose herself.

He could feel her trembling and his Thirium pump sped up.

“Claire? What happened?”

Claire glanced over to the door and then back up into Connor’s eyes as he rested a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to look into her eyes. She was scared and he knew only one person who'd scared her: Ralph. But he recalled Ralph's pristine features and his artificial muscles tensed. Who else had it been then?

He didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

Something rammed the door and Connor took hold of Claire’s arm, moving her behind him while his other hand found his gun and removed it from the back of his pants.

The only sound in the room was Connor’s voice and the sound of a human and Android heart racing.

“I’m an officer with the DPD and I must warn you that I'm armed!” Connor shouted.

The door was flung open and Connor came face to face with an old acquaintance who he’d been told was to immediately removed from the DPD due to his anti-Android views.

“Well if it isn’t the plastic prick,” Gavin Reed said as he walked into the room with his own gun pointed at Connor “Heard you’d gotten yourself a girl but I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”

“Well if it isn’t the biggest prick in Detroit,” Connor said as he glanced out into the hallway “Where’s your accomplice?”

“Oh, you mean the blonde guy? Ralph! Get in here.”

For a moment Connor seemed prepared to shoot, but when Ralph walked in wearing the suit he’d been wearing all day, neither he nor Claire could understand what was going on.

Then Daniel stalked in behind him and Connor's processor moved into overdrive.

Connor’s Thirium went cold underneath his artificial skin at the sight of Daniel’s disfigurement, remembering the little girl on the rooftop who lost her friends and family that day. Daniel had called Connor a liar before he died, and here he was, alive but certainly not well.

“I remember you Connor,” Daniel said as Ralph walked to stand beside Claire “And so does Detective Reed.”

Daniel looked over at Ralph and saw him gently stroke Claire’s arm. The tension in it slowly fade and she gazed up at him with something he would classify as admiration. Using non-vocal communication, Ralph told Connor that he planned to get Claire out of the room and help Connor take the men down. With the two of them fighting side by side, Claire could escape and call the DPD while they held them off.

It was a good plan, but Daniel was smarter than Ralph. He had a plan too.

“Ralph, you like Claire, don’t you?” Daniel said pointedly “Why don’t you run away and leave Connor with us?”

“No,” Ralph said flatly “I’m not letting you hurt anybody tonight – not even Connor.”

Connor’s brow furrowed at the idea of Ralph letting him be harmed, but given that he was now against it, he was willing to let it slide.

Besides, Ralph probably agreed to it when his circuitry was damaged – now that it was repaired, he’d come to see that violence would get him nowhere.

“Claire, when I say run, you need to run,” Connor whispered out the side of his mouth.

Claire nodded and Ralph stepped in front of her, the two men creating a barrier between her and the intruders. Daniel gave a small laugh and gradually built into a string of giggles.

“Did you think I’d come here without a plan B Connor?” Daniel asked as he took a step closer to the trio. 

Ralph lashed out at Daniel, a fist moving but never striking a blow. Instead every joint in his body froze, rendered immovable by some invisible force. He began straightening back and physically shaking and jumping between a predatory and frightened expression as his LED followed suit, flashing red, yellow, no red... and when it stayed at a solid angry red, Ralph turned back to Connor and Claire.

Connor looked over his shoulder and shouted “Run!”

Claire ran toward the door but not before glancing quickly to Ralph, who seemed unable to remove his eyes form her. Daniel thrust out an arm and knocked Claire backward until she stumbled into Ralph's arms. Connor aimed and fired his gun into Gavin’s stomach on the lower left-hand side – he would bleed, but he would not lose blood quickly enough to die.

Daniel lunged at Connor and held him under his armpits while Gavin stood stock still, not falling to the ground as Connor had expected. Instead, he stood up and glared over at him and stood, proud of the bullet-proof vest he had cleverly hidden under a shirt one size too large for him.

“Ralph, make her cover the windows,” Daniel said as he surveyed the room “We don’t want anybody to see this.”

Connor was struggling to free himself from Daniel, but he persisted until Daniel let him go momentarily, clubbing him over the head with a clenched fist. Connor fell to the ground, a red warning flashing to inform him that he had sustained considerable damage. The hit had thrown off his balance compensators and his sight grew blurred while Daniel spoke.

“You took the only thing I ever loved away from me Connor,” Daniel said as Claire pulled the curtains across the window “Now I’m going to do the same.”

“How could you do that? I care about Claire, but I don’t love her,” Connor said flatly.

Daniel was taken aback and as Connor regained his stability, tried to hide the shiver that went down his spine as he tried to stand shakily.

“That’s not how it is? Well then, let’s see how you like it when Ralph puts his new upgrades to good use.”

Claire’s eyes widened at Daniel’s words, but when Ralph suddenly pressed her against the window, her eyes met with his, the blue almost entirely drowned out by a sea of lustful black.

“Ralph, stop!” Connor said as he tried to stand up straight.

Daniel elbowed him **hard** in the back and then practically shattered his shin with a second swift movement of his foot.

Connor had no choice but to fall and roll onto his stomach to prevent further damage to his extremities. His back could take a few more hits, but his legs and arms needed to be fully functional if he wanted to prevent Claire from becoming another victim in a DPD case.

Daniel – ever the quick thinker – kept Connor in place by sitting over the back of his legs and pressing a switchblade to the back of his neck.

“I’ll make you watch her suffer, see her pain, watch her cry…”

Claire squealed and swatted at Ralph's arms as he forced her down onto the carpet. She took a swing that hit him and he suddenly took hold of her hands, gripping tightly until she squeaked and begged him to let go. The moment he did, he sat over her thighs and leant forward to abuse her neck with his tongue and teeth. Connor could see the bruises forming on her pale skin, like ink on blotting paper. Claire squirmed and clenched her teeth to stop herself form screaming. If only she was somewhere else.

Connor wanted to look away, but the two times he tried, Daniel pressed the DPD issue blade harder against him, splitting apart some of his outer shell, causing Thirium to leak down the knife’s blade. Officers only used it to free hostages or defend themselves against Androids, but Reed was allowing an Android to use it to take away his ability to save a hostage.

Ralph’s visual receptors were scanning over Claire’s body as he shimmied down her legs and began digging his eager hands into her hips; her hands were quick to come to her defense but Ralph was quick. He used his superior strength to hold her hands high above her head with one hand while his legs closed in around hers. After a moment he surveyed the situation and realised she was wearing a skirt, so he moved one leg out and slid it up over one hip. Claire rolled but moved in the wrong direction, making it easier to pull the skirt toward her chest. She turned her head in disgust and closed her eyes, nausea and fear overtaking her every breath.

Watching it all happen made Connor sick. Claire had done nothing wrong and now his gesture of good will was being used against her. Ralph had only been trying to get close to her and Daniel turned him into a monster, hungry for the things he’d never done, never tried…

“Ralph, please, you have to stop!” Claire bargained as he began moving her skirt over the opposite hip “You said you’d never hurt me, remember?”

For a split second, the LED flashed blue, giving her a glimpse into the mind of a pained and clearly distraught Ralph. He could hear her but not take control and slowly he twitched back into his morose state, his eyes becoming dull. He lifted the long skirt higher until Connor, Reed and Daniel could all see her black underwear. Connor could feel the orange soda he drank earlier rise in his throat along with acidic Thirium. This was happening and all he could do was watch.

Suddenly the knife at the back of his throat left and a sliced its way up his back along with a singeing pain, Thirium pooling at the small depression at the base of his spine.

“Now it’s your turn, Deviant,” Reed said as he pulled on Connor’s tie. It was in that moment Connor realised just how little he thought of Reed and how right he was to think so.

Daniel had sliced through Connor’s belt (as he had hoped to) and a significant portion of his synthetic skin, making every movement agonizing. The trio heard Claire whispering in a high-pitched wail, hysterical as Ralph pulled her closer to him.

“You might want to see what Ralph’s doing to your precious little girl,” Daniel mocked.

Connor looked up just as he heard Claire shriek again, this time in pain. She had become hoarse from her protests and her silent screams were so horrific he didn’t need to look at her face anymore. Instead he looked at Ralph, showing no emotion but lust and sustained obedience as he finally entered her.

This wasn’t **right**. There was a word to describe it, but Connor couldn’t bring himself to say it.

When Daniel put his lips close to Connor’s ear, his Thirium ran ice cold.

“You’re next,”

Claire was crying out in pain, but managed to give a strained “NO!” in both fear and empathy.

Reed moved forward and held Connor's arms while Daniel ripped apart his pants with the knife, revealing his pale legs. Connor was kicking at Daniel but Reed whispered something to him, making him pause, widen his eyes and then suddenly struggle even harder.

"No," Connor said quietly.

He may have had an entire police database sitting inside his artificial skull, but nothing in his training prepared him for this – now he was shouting, screaming for his dignity.

"No, stop, please! Shoot me, do anything, just don't do this Daniel..."

Claire was in agony, sobbing out of desperation to help Connor. He was completely exposed form the waist down and Daniel clearly enjoyed every second of his discomfort.  
Without warning, Reed turned Connor over onto his back, his eyes impossibly wide as his arms were also pinned above his head. Claire tried to block out what she was hearing, but it was nigh impossible. Daniel was practically tearing at his pants while Reed chuckled, eager to exact his revenge on the man beneath him. Connor’s whimpering was so panicked she could barely hold back the sob stuck in her throat. If ever there was a time she wished she could hold him, it was now.

Ralph groaned and something warm was inside Claire, her stomach churning at the thought of having to clear it away. She heard Connor shouting and Daniel managed to communicate with Ralph. After binding Claire up with scarves form her own dresser, one of her socks was shoved into his mouth, muffling his scream as his body was breached. With the other sock in her own mouth, Claire was sobbing and trying to take her eyes off of Connor, but she needed to keep him grounded. She managed to crawl closer to him in the hopes that he would know she felt his pain, but Ralph dragged her back to the wall and fastened her to the coffee table after a mere second of sustained eye contact.

The Android looked so broken with Thirium staining his white shirt that Claire could only hold out both hands to him. Ralph suddenly grabbed her arm and shoved a needle in under her skin, administering a drug which slowly dragged her into the void of unconsciousness as she watched Daniel finish the deed. She could only watch as Connor seemingly took the time to turn his tear-filled eyes toward her, his struggle for freedom being quelled when Reed decided to take Daniel’s place.  
  
Her last conscious thought was  _My boys..._


	7. Mourning, Noon and Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Claire are taken to Detroit General Hospital to recover and be examined.
> 
> Connor is scary and Claire is scared.

Claire woke up, unable to move a centimetre. She was tied up under the window where she had been last night… but something was making her head move almost rhythmically.

Then she looked up.

Her head was leaning on Ralph’s chest and his eyes were leaking a steady stream of tears, his face scrunched up in shame as he cried. He saw Claire and when they locked eyes, both sets of eyes widened at the same time.

Claire paled and quickly leant away from Ralph, the air suddenly seeming too thin. Her lungs were screaming for it and she couldn’t bring it in quickly enough.

“Claire, please, don’t hate me,” Ralph said calmly.

If Claire was scared before, now she was terrified. His voice seemed to be sickly sweet to her ears and it made her feel like bringing up her dinner.

But her mind only recalled the small grunts he had made. Wordless sounds that made her stomach churn; the real nightmare was only coming back to light.

_Connor._

Claire stopped and began thrashing when she saw Connor on his side, back bleeding profusely and his skin almost as white as the plastic shell he was made of.

“Connor!” Claire shouted “Connor, get up!”

He didn’t move.

Claire’s eyes moved to Ralph and her thoughts ran into overdrive.

“What did you do to him?” she said when Ralph stood up and walked toward her.

“I didn’t do anything… but I let Gavin and Daniel come here,” Ralph admitted with a heavy conscience “I also called the police so they can arrest me and help you both recover.”

“You’re lying!” Claire shouted accusingly “You’re LED is still red. He’s… wait – you let them in?”

Ralph blanched and his LED stayed red.

“They said they would take Connor away while I stayed with you,” Ralph said as he walked away from Claire and carefully rolled Connor onto his back.

“You were going to rape me while they got revenge on Connor?” she asked incredulously, pain betraying her tone.

“They…”

Ralph had no words to say that could possibly make things better, but he could certainly clear the air.

Neither of them noticed the sirens wailing in the distance and slowly but surely growing louder.

“I didn’t know what they would do to you both,” he said as he covered Connor with the jacket he’d been given “I thought they might intimidate him, but not **that**.”

Claire’s muscle’s tightened when Ralph walked back to her and looked over at the dishes on the sink. He walked over and picked up a knife, returning to her side. She kicked at him and the knife cut his hand, making him yelp.

“Stop!” he said with his wearing patience “I’m getting the scarves off!”

There was a thunderous sound of footsteps and suddenly five police officers were in the room, watching Claire try to fend off Ralph while Connor lay motionless a few feet away.

“Get up, now!” shouted an officer “Hands above your head!”

 Ralph stood up swiftly and walked over to the officers, not even fighting them as they pushed him into a wall and patted him down before putting him in handcuffs.

A female officer from the hallway gave a nod to somebody on the stairs.

Claire felt her face fall when Hank walked in and saw Connor on the floor, then moved his eyes over to her, tied up against a wall. The female officer walked beside him and Hank lifted Connor from the ground. He left without a word while the officer came to speak with her and remove the scarves which Ralph had made incredibly tight.

“Can you stand?” the woman asked as she sliced through the scarves at Claire’s ankle’s.

Claire gave a quiet “Yes,” and let the woman guide her to her feet, her hands being released soon after.

As she made her way through the doorway, Claire saw Hank helping a Paramedic load Connor onto a stretcher and move him up into an ambulance. A second stretcher was being moved toward her and – as if she’d become deaf to the world – she suddenly couldn’t hear anybody, human or not. She was shaking despite the sunlight warming her skin because her clothes had been replaced in the night and Connor had been redressed haphazardly.

If Ralph wasn’t lying, she had pushed him away when he was trying to help them both.

Claire didn’t remember climbing up onto the stretcher, but suddenly she was in the back of the ambulance, being carted off to Detroit General Hospital. The ambulance taking Connor to the Android ward was a few hundred yards ahead and all she could do was hope that they wouldn’t have to change him too much. She wanted that same man with his soulful eyes, his innocent smile and those suits he always straightened up every morning.

But she knew it was useless – neither of them would ever be the same.

 

Some Time Later…

 

Connor woke up staring at a ceiling, his abdomen feeling tighter than usual and a coolness moving itself across the artificial skin of his legs. Every once in a while, it would move from his knee joint down toward his feet, stop and then change position slightly at his knee and move downward again.

He was being cleaned. And he didn’t like it.

Connor sat up perfectly straight and came face to face with a male nurse with blonde hair and blue eyes. For a moment he was gripping onto the bedsheets tightly, as if Daniel and Reed were standing next to him. He heard footsteps and a familiar face came into view.

He could breathe again.

“Hi kid,” Hank said with tears in his eyes.

Connor had only seen Hank this upset once before – when he asked about Cole – and for a moment he couldn’t figure out where he was or what was happening. Then he saw the Thirium-covered bandages beside him and glanced down to see that his torso and groin were covered with bandages as well. These were far less wet with the blue liquid.

“Hi Hank,” Connor managed as the male nurse ducked away with a container of cool water and pale-blue marks on a white rag.

Connor let Hank fix the pillows behind him so that he could sit up and he leant back a little more before Hank pulled up an uncomfortable-looking plastic chair. It seemed impossible to relax.

“Have you seen Claire at all?” Connor asked, his internal processor playing last night on a loop “She would have been brought here with me, surely?”

Hank looked down at the floor and out his tongue in his cheek before flinging his head in the direction of the curtain behind them.

“She’s behind there – they had to run a few tests and having an audience would make her uncomfortable.”

Connor nodded and his memory banks pulled up a name which made his Thirium boil.

“I should have fought them harder Hank,” he said, knuckles going white on the metal railing between them “I could have stopped them if I hadn’t followed protocol and stayed still to avoid getting myself hurt.”

He fell silent suddenly, eyes trained on the bottom of the curtain surrounding Claire's bed.

Intervening would definitely have gotten him killed and then he would have been entirely useless. Now there were two witnesses to what had happened in the apartment, not a witness and a corpse.

He knew it and surely Claire would too. Besides, he had been hurt.

Twice.

He sat back again and felt a sudden surge in his irritant reduction system, his eyes flooding with water and sobs making his chest heave. Connor bent forward to bring his knees to his chest but his injuries wouldn’t let him, so he buried his face in his hands, turning onto his side. Hank tried to put a hand on his shoulder and calm him, but he jerked away and Hank sat back, whispering words of comfort instead.

“We’ll find the guys who did this to you both and then it’ll all be a bad dream,” Hank said with a fatherly tone.

He seemed to only ever use when Connor did something wrong. Or if he did something he knew **might** seem wrong. There was a very fine line between the two.

Suddenly the curtain behind Hank was being pulled back and Connor sat up, waiting to catch a glimpse of Claire.

When he saw her, his Thirium pump practically stopped.

Claire’s eyes were puffy, the sclera red at it’s edges and trails of tears were visible when she looked over at him, highlighted by the light above her. Judging by the instrument in one of the nurses hands and the fact that himself and Hank were the only males left in the room, they had just performed a rape kit. They had probably done one on him as well, but he had been asleep and Claire was clearly wide awake. It was disgusting that they would put an investigation above her feelings. No, it was inhumane and he wasn’t even human enough to have the right to say it. But damn it he would... just the way his father taught him.

“Keep your hands off of her you hags!” Connor shouted as the nurses left “Hunt the bastards that did this instead of torturing us!”

A nurse paled and spoke to someone who was beside the doorway. A burly man with a security guards uniform walked in and whispered something to Hank. Hank walked over to Claire and the guard sat down in the chair beside Connor’s bed.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said sternly “That young woman agreed to the kit and we did yours while you were being repaired by an Android specialist. The cops are coming here to interview you both and the last thing we need is either of you causing a scene.”

Connor’s voice deepened and he leaned over the railing, his patience thin as ice in the summertime.

“If I get out of this bed, all I’ll be doing is emptying a round into the people that did this. Each. That sound like a scene?”

Connor sat back and he suddenly fell out of his angry state. He watched the guard stand up and leave, his eyes darting over to Claire as soon as the heat in his chest had worn away.

She was staring at him, her face pale and her eyes unable to leave him.

“Connor?” Claire asked, clearly shocked “What the hell are you thinking?”

“That I should have done something to help you,” Connor said as he moved himself further up the pillow, the blanket moving down to his waist.

Claire’s eyes moved to the bandages and she put a hand to her mouth.

“Oh God,” she whispered into her palm “They broke us both.”

Connor’s aural receiver picked up what Claire had said and he recalled his shin shattering. Claire didn’t have any broken bones, but his intuition told him it was useless to ask what she meant.

“I just laid there and let it happen,” Connor said a little louder, making Claire jump “I’m sorry Claire.”

Claire dropped her hand and furrowed her brow.

“Sorry for what? Being sorry doesn’t take back my…”

Claire stopped herself.

Would Connor even know what she meant if she said it? Would he care? What if he found out who she really was when the cops came in for questioning?

Connor could see Claire was thinking hard about what she said and he knew they had become different people. Both of them were. Claire was being quick defensive rather than comforting and he was aggressive instead of assertive.

Reed and Daniel really had broken them.

“Claire, whatever you have to say, whatever’s bothering you, tell me when there’s nobody around. Tell me when we go home.”

Claire felt her heart swell at the word. He’d been with her for less than a month and her house had become his home.

She nodded as the female officer entered the room and glanced back at Connor.

He was smiling.


	8. Interviews and Insights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Claire have to relive the past night and Ralph's future is brought into question... will he see his friends or will he be left in a lonely cell to await whatever it was the human authorities had planned for him?

Connor found it far more comfortable on his side and decided to stay where he was for the interview. One of the nurses walked back in and moved Connor’s bed closer to Claire’s.

“My name is Senior Officer Laura Daly,” the woman said as she held out a hand to them.

They both shook her hand in turn and quickly made themselves comfortable. Mentally, there was no way to do it even if they tried. They’d have to give details of the night before and it wasn’t something they planned on telling just anybody.

“We have DNA from the two of you,” Officer Daly said calmly “It indicated that an Android raped you Claire and Connor by a human and an Android. I need to know what these people looked like, if they had any identifying scars or – ”

Connor cut her off.

“Detective – sorry – Ex-Detective Gavin Reed. And an Android named Daniel: I shot him last year after he took Emma Philips hostage and had her at gunpoint 30 storeys up.”

“Did you say Philips?” Officer Daly asked “You were the negotiator on that case if I remember rightly?”

“I was – he still had all the injuries I left him with, but he had the fatal wounds repaired,” Connor said certainly before a shiver ran down his mainframe column, recalling the exposed cheekbone and bullet holes.

Connor’s visual receptors picked up on a WPP stamp on Claire’s form and he quickly looked over at her.

“Claire, why are you in Witness Protection?” Connor asked without thinking.

She turned and her brow creased.

“How did you know that?”

“I saw the stamp,” he answered honestly “Who are you really?”

Claire made the same face as Hank, evaluating her options while her tongue was in her cheek. Connor was sure she had learnt it to match whatever cover story she had been given.

“My name isn’t Claire Anderson and Hank isn’t my Uncle – my real name is Josephine Philips.”

Connor put his hand on the railing and he stared at her hard.

“That’s impossible – Emma Philips was under the age of fifteen and you’re almost twenty-six! Her parents couldn’t possibly have had a daughter older than twelve.”

“I used to be an Anderson with no relation to Hank: the Philips’ found me wandering the streets,” Josephine said as she lowered her eyes “My mother left me in Detroit and I was going to be homeless. Ten years after they welcomed me into their family Daniel went on the fritz.”

Claire’s eyes watered as she recalled watching Connor talk Daniel out of shooting her little sister; when he had finally let her go, the snipers took aim and Daniel became still, Thirium leaking all across the deck.

“Hank found out that I was the last surviving witness and we made this whole stupid story up about me and I still don’t know where my real family is. I don’t care anymore. All I care about is making sure Daniel doesn’t remember me and putting him behind bars with Reed. Then we can get on with our lives.”

Connor said nothing and Officer Daly began asking them questions about what happened the night before. Claire noticed that Connor was still his formal self, but once in a while he’d say something that definitely betrayed his thoughts and feelings rather than the opinion of a detective.

From his bed, Connor could see Claire watching him, worrying about him. He was doing his best to control his emotions, but sometimes he found himself giving details he thought were irrelevant or might make Claire uncomfortable. But she just seemed to be more confident to speak when he said things she didn’t expect to hear.

“Are you planning to press charges against the Android named Ralph?”

Claire looked over at Connor and he held her gaze.

She clearly didn’t want to say yes.

“Ralph wasn’t in control of his actions Officer Daly,” Connor said flatly “There’s no way either of us could put him in prison for that. He loves Claire and Reed got Daniel to take me down while Ralph spoke had sex with Claire. At least, that seems to be what he thought would happen.”

Claire nodded once when Officer Daly’s face paled despite her silent note-taking, telling her without words that it was true. Of course, she couldn't know what he was thinking, but that was just the logical series of events.

“His programming was faulty before the accident and when he realised what they had planned, he tried to let me escape,” Claire said as a hint of pride filled her tone “We would have succeeded if Daniel hadn’t activated the bug.”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Officer Daly replied calmly “But I’d recommend having him speak to somebody about this – that goes for you two as well. Taking a mix of Android and human involvement into account, the way you interact will be different.”

Connor and Claire nodded their understanding and took the card for a government-funded psychologist from Officer Daly.

“Is there any chance Ralph will be released tonight?” Claire asked just before Officer Daly left the room “We both need to talk to him.”

“He’ll have to be released on bail Claire,” Connor called across the room “I’m sure if Hank understood everything he’d gladly pitch in.”

Claire stared at Officer Daly and before she could tell the woman what to do, she left and took Hank by the arm, escorting him to a broom cupboard and closing the door behind them.

When they emerged, Hank was nodding his head, a few words reaching Claire as they got closer to the room.

“… both practically kids!” Hank whispered harshly “But I know they’re worried about that Ralph guy too. Fuck it, tell the officers holding him that I’ll be releasing him temporarily until bail’s been set.”

“Will do Lieutenant Anderson,” Officer Daly said as she walked briskly down the hallway.

Hank ducked his head around the corner of the room and wished Connor and Claire a good evening just as a nurse brought in something for them both to eat.


	9. Food Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a visitor at dinnertime and Connor and Claire overcome one of the largest hurdles they thought they had ahead in mere minutes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I can upload for a while because school starts soon and I haven't written the next chapter yet - sorry for the delays which are inevitable!
> 
> Madzie2000

Connor stared down at the soup in front of him, almost startled by the colour.

It was bright orange with small flecks of black – pepper – and a white lump in the middle which was slowly melting.

“It’s pumpkin soup Connor,” Claire said with a smirk “Take the spoon, get a bit of the sour cream and eat it. That’s what the upgrade is for.”

Connor picked up his spoon and did as Claire instructed, collecting soup in the spoon and running it through the highest edge of the sour cream and took a little of it into his mouth.

Instead of an overwhelming flavour that made pop-up warnings appear in his vision in waves, he could feel the heat of the soup, the texture, a few strands of the pumpkin’s flesh brushing his gums. The sour cream was cooler but it melted and its flavour was easier to define. Sour, as was to be expected, but it tasted good when it was mixed together. He didn’t have enough experience with taste to compare its flavour to something else. Hopefully someday he would.

“I like it – but the soup might be too hot,” Connor said as soon as he finished what was left of the soup on his spoon.

“Blow on it before you eat it – it’s the safest way to cool it. Just don’t blow too hard.”

Connor nodded and watched Claire gently blow air across the surface of her spoon before putting it into her mouth and eating. Because of the injuries she had sustained, she chose to sit with her legs over the side of her bed. He hadn’t meant to, but he saw a tell-tale bloodstain on her skirt. It was a black patch but a quick analysis told him exactly what was contained inside the stain and his stomach churned.

_62% blood. 11% unidentifiable natural fluids. 27% artificial semen._

Those same things were in his body somewhere too. But he couldn’t clean that part of himself – he knew that everything would have been taken away for DNA analysis to confirm that Reed and Daniel were involved, as well as Ralph. Each model’s artificial ejaculate was given identifiers much like no two humans had the same pattern of DNA. If Ralph was there, which he was, they would have him on a count of rape and place him onto a register with other human deviants.

_Deviants… it was so easy to be a machine and not feel. Why do I have to feel?_

Claire’s spoon clattered on the floor and brought Connor out of his thoughts. In the doorway stood a man with blonde hair, blue tear-filled eyes and a shirt and pants that belonged to Connor.

“Ralph?” Claire said cautiously when she noticed Officer Daly outside “How did you get here so quickly?”

Ralph walked into the room and stood at the foot of Claire’s bed. She tensed but didn’t move back; instead she shifted her food out of the way should he decide to get closer. She was safe when she had three cops less than five feet away.

“I was being questioned and had diagnostics run,” he said before making eye contact with Connor “Daniel and Reed placed a bug into my program which cloaked itself when they changed my programming back to more appropriate parameters. The specialist officers managed to find it and remove it while you were both resting.”

Ralph looked down at his feet and speedily brought the chair Hank was in over to Claire’s bed, holding a hand to her, open palm facing the ceiling.

Connor felt his Thirium pump break.

Ralph remembered that she used the technique to make him come out of his shell and now he was using it to prove that he was harmless.

Claire’s legs were almost touching Ralph’s and she wanted desperately to get her legs back onto the bed, but if she did she would be exposing herself and all she wanted to do was hide.

Hide her face, hide her legs, hide from Ralph… and suddenly a blanket was over her lap.

Ralph had quickly grabbed a spare one from the end of the bed and practically dropped it over her, gently resting his elbow on his knee.

“I have all night,” he said with a smile.

Claire leant forward tentatively and gently placed her hand in Ralph’s, taking in the sheer size of them. She’d always been smaller than most people around her, but Ralph made her seem like a lost child who’d asked a stranger to help her find home.

“I… I don’t hate you Ralph, but it’s going to be hard to stop being afraid of you,” Claire said earnestly.

Ralph nodded slowly to show that he understood and got up from his seat, sitting beside Claire.

“I knew that long before morning came,” he said softly as he attempted to snake a hand around Claire’s back “I’m just holding you, nothing else.”

Claire was still tense, but when his hand was almost to her other shoulder, she looked down and shook her head.

“Go talk to Connor,” she whispered “You need to clear the air with him too.”

Ralph smiled and gave her hand a quick squeeze before letting go and walking over to Connor.

For a moment Connor tensed as well, realising just how much Daniel looked like Ralph.

“I know you’re mad at me for what happened to Claire, but I need to apologise for being so selfish,” Ralph spat, a tear sliding down his cheek “I only thought about Claire and at first I didn’t care what happened to you, but when I realised what they might do I went back on my plan. I was going to sacrifice myself if you needed to escape, but before I could do anything I was…”

Ralph’s eyes evaded Connor’s and he felt something wet slide down his cheek, a small tremble of his lip a tell-tale sign of his guilty conscience. “it was like they trapped me in my own body. I was moving, I was doing all those terrible things but I couldn’t stop.” Ralph sobbed so loudly Claire was almost brave enough to stand and say something to him.

Almost.

“I should have stopped them or shut myself down but nothing I did was working until Claire said I was in there – that’s when I stopped for just a second and the program overpowered my commands. I’m so sorry they did that to you Connor. I might have wanted Claire to myself, but I would never want something like that to happen to my friends.”

Connor looked over at Claire and saw that she was close to tears just from listening to Ralph’s side of the story, but Connor couldn’t think of an appropriate response. His LED had been spinning red since Ralph walked in because all he could see was Daniel’s face.

“I also accept your apology Ralph,” Connor said when he avoided his gaze and looked unto his lap “But I need you to go as well. You look too much like Daniel and it’s hard to look you in the eyes.”

Ralph frowned for a moment and suddenly grinned. He closed his eyes and his LED blinked yellow, then slowly his hair changed from crisp yellow-blonde to a fiery orange. He opened his eyes and immediately Connor and Claire perked up.

“That seems to make you both more comfortable… should I try black instead?” he asked when he noticed them staring.

“No,” Connor said a little too loudly, quickly lowering his audio output “No, not at all. It suits you very well.”

Claire chuckled and called across the room “A little too good apparently.”

Ralph turned back to Claire and the full force of his new hair-colour struck her as mesmerising. His eyes now stood out far more than they had when he was blonde. She hadn’t forgotten Connor’s little outburst or the flush of Thirium in his cheeks; in fact, she had to agree.

Being a redhead really did suit Ralph.

Ralph looked back to Connor and smiled.

“I could hug you if you like? Humans seem to find it comforting.”

Connor shifted and tried to move the railing from in front of his, but it was impossible from the angle he was on, so Ralph moved the bar and stood beside his bed while Connor moved to sit up. As he had done with Claire, Ralph threw a blanket over Connor’s lap, covering his almost full nude lower half. Ralph put out his arms (not straight out though) and leant down, allowing Connor to slowly slide his arms up comfortably over Ralph’s. Ralph pulled Connor in a little closer and Connor was so desperate for someone to hold him that he brought them chest to chest abruptly, making Ralph laugh quietly into his ear and rub gentle circles across his back. They were very quiet, and jus when Connor was beginning to relax, he flinched. Ralph clenched his hands upon seeing the bruises Reed and Daniel had left across his neck and right hip (where his bandage wasn’t quite fixed in place around his midriff). He refused to cry and so he forced his irritation reduction systems to shut down. Claire needed someone to be mentally stable and he wasn’t sure how long Ralph would remain the way he was.

Connor gave Ralph a polite tap on the front his shoulder and he let go. “Humans have the right ideas regarding comfort I think,” Ralph said coolly “It’s like being surrounded by warmth.”

He turned to Claire and said tentatively “Would you like to try again?”

Claire sighed with a smile and opened out one arm, which Ralph took immediately. He was at her hip in seconds and instead of tensing, she melted into his side, leaning her head on his chest with her eyes shut. Ralph felt something wet at his ribs and his brow creased. He was quick to realise she was crying, shivering under his arm.

“Shhh,” he said quietly but loudly enough for Connor to hear “You’re going to be okay. You have Connor, Connor has you and you both have me. I won’t let this happen again.”

Ralph kissed the top of Claire’s head and Connor felt sick again. Something seemed wrong with how easily Claire accepted his embrace now that he looked different – his skin, his voice, those eyes, they were all the same as that night.

Officer Daly walked in and for a moment she seemed disturbed, but then she put a hand on her heart.

“Jesus Connor, you could have warned me that Androids can change their hair colour,” she whispered harshly when she realised she was looking at Ralph.

Officer Daly quickly pulled out her phone and took a picture. “There’s evidence for the jury that Ralph isn’t a dangerous Android… time to go I’m afraid.”

Ralph put his hand to Claire’s head and hugged her a little closer before releasing her. Connor could see Claire’s arms relax and she seemed almost glad he was leaving, but simultaneously sad.

 _Trauma’s a bitch_ , he recalled hearing Hank say after a particularly gruesome case.

Once again, Connor agreed with Hank – trauma was the biggest bitch and Detective Gavin Reed was the biggest prick.

He had the bandages to prove it.


	10. Life Will Still Go On Believe Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire, Connor and Ralph are headed home, but it becomes clear to all three of them that things aren't going to go back to normal too quickly...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneaky line from "Good Vibrations" as a title again - the next couple are titled with songs which helped influence my writing.
> 
> If you see any spelling errors, tell me and yes, I looked up sizing in America. There is a large enough difference between sizes to have confused the residents of the USA, so I will go back and change it accordingly.

The morning came quickly and Claire wanted to do nothing but shower, eat and sleep – work be damned.

Connor however, was eager to work and leave Claire to herself, but the Chief and Hank had agreed that it was in his best interests to stay away from the DPD lest Reed reappear and make matters worse.

Connor assumed that nobody wanted to see an Android with PTSD and he agreed wholeheartedly with the thought.

Of course, that made sure the car ride back to the laundromat was as silent as a graveyard. Ralph and Connor were in the back (for Claire’s sake less than theirs) while she sat in the front, staring across the road at the blue house with a weak smile.

She recalled painting with Connor, Ralph’s quick kiss pressed gently to her cheek… then the smile vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

Claire wanted to say it was alright, but it wasn’t; she wanted to tell him she wasn’t afraid but she couldn’t help it: she was only human.

Like anybody else, she wanted comfort, but feeling synthetic skin made her queasy and Connor was getting clingy throughout the car ride. She saw Ralph gentle pat his hand when he clung to his arm a little tightly.

Hank was the only exception to the no-touch and minor interaction protocols she’d suddenly and ironically adopted. Apparently, he also needed to clarify this with 'the boys'.

“Alright, if I hear anything about you boys crossing any damn line, I’ll personally make sure you get more than your fair share of bugs and glitches courtesy of CyberLife,” Hank warned.

Connor helped Claire out of the car, her mind still a little fuzzy from the emotional exhaustion that had begun to make her physically exhausted.

“That won’t happen Hank,” Connor said gravely as he guided Claire up onto the sidewalk “She may not be related to you but she is still family.”

Claire gave Hank a small, uncertain smile and waved goodbye before her face fell into something Connor’s receptors classified as robotic.

Stupid memory banks: always picking the most android-like word to describe what humans feel…

“Come on, we should get inside before you catch a cold and my servo’s freeze up,” Connor said with a polite nod as Ralph walked away.

The newly-made redhead kept glancing at Claire every once in a while, even as the couple moved out of sight. He was resolved to find a way back into Claire’s heart but his processors told him it was a bad idea to push it. For now, he’d wave when he saw her and smile.

She wanted to see a smile, not blank, sad or angered expressions. Then again, if Connor did something to jeopardise her safety, how could he stop himself from reacting?

Connor wasn’t internally conflicted by his processors decision or his actions: they were completely normal amongst humans.

A hug when you wanted to show affection or felt scared, a smile when you were happy… but he was cycling through images of soap and cleaning products. He still felt dirty and he wanted to shower or have a bath, but he had no reference point for how to do it with the new sensors in his body.

Claire **did** say that he could ask her anything, but this wasn’t the sort of thing she needed to see right now.

As soon as they were in the apartment and moving up the stairs, Connor tapped Claire on the shoulder.

“May I use the bathroom? The artificial sweat on my body is making my clothes stick to me,” Connor lied flawlessly.

“Uh sure,” Claire said, clearly not thinking about Connor or the bathroom “Just don’t use too much soap and leave the door unlocked. If you hurt yourself I’m the only one who can give you a hand.”

Connor nodded and went over to his suitcase, pulling out a pair of black boxers.

“I’m wearing these for posterity’s sake – I don’t believe you’d find it appropriate to see all my upgrades.”

Claire’s face began to grow warm and redden, so Connor ducked into the bathroom and slowly began removing his shirt and jacket. Outside the bathroom, Claire was somewhat amused that Connor forgot what she’d seen. She knew he was anatomically correct, to say the least.

The sound of water pouring out into the bath filled Claire’s ears and she relaxed a little, though her unease refused to leave.

 

Inside the bathroom, Connor was careful of the dark brown and blue bruises across his shins, his hips, his ribs… everywhere he could and couldn’t see them. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he felt something akin to nausea. Thinking of Claire and how concerned she would be if she heard him bring up the mere litre of liquids stored in his system, he quickly turned on the shower and pulled the black boxers over his knees, up his thighs and then over his hips. Somehow, it made him feel safe, secure: as if one single shred of clothing was better than layer after layer.

It also made a routine clean far easier to deal with.

Though he hadn’t let it cross his processors, Connor had decided to leave his newest upgrades until last. Not only was it a foreign feeling to simply have something sit limply between his thighs, but it was a whole new level of freedom and servitude at once.

Just like an upgrade on a computer, it required certain levels of maintenance.

Unlike a machine, he knew exactly what it felt like to be on the receiving end of human hardware.

Suddenly, as he stepped under the warm water, he felt cold and his features became as blank as Claire’s.

He wanted to hold her and tell her things would be okay, but he knew damn well that he was hoping she might do the same. He wanted normalcy that neither of them could get back… and that meant his only company for now would be Ralph, whether he liked it or not.

He thought of Ralph and his blonde hair, but a different memory played in his head.

_The pain, the grunts; those mocking voices and the pained shrieks from beside him. They were so real he could scream, or cry, maybe both._

And apparently, he had.

Connor was crouching under the water, droplets streaming over the top of his arms as they protected his head from invisible kicks, trying desperately to make the feeling of dread go away.

Claire was knocking on the door calling his name but he didn’t hear it.

He only heard his own cries for Reed and Daniel to leave Claire alone.


	11. Don't You Cry No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Claire are in the apartment and trying to acclimatise to each other's presence and come to realise just how much they need one another...

Claire had sat herself on Connor’s bed and very carefully pulled the thin sheet up to her chest, the doona seeming uncomfortably warm.

_Surely he knows how to turn a tap on?_

The thought left a hint of a smile curling at the corner of her mouth.

After hearing his clothes gently meet the tiles in the bathroom, Claire was convinced that he had begun stripping and would see his wounds. With a wince, she remembered the salve in a small bag which the technicians said would help the synthetic skin seal together again. And she was the one who had to apply it to his back.

Just the thought of touching synthetic skin set her teeth on edge, but Connor was a victim too.

She had no right to be afraid of those doe eyes and his goofy little grin – he was practically docile.

But he seemed to be taking a while to get in the water.

No doubt – oh – never mind.

Something was blocking the spray and making a considerably higher pitched drip as water cascaded down artificial flesh into the drain. For a while she found herself imagining an Android without it;’s skin standing there and cleaning himself, wiping away whatever was left of… “STOP!”

Claire’s blood ran cold when she heard Connor scream, but the sense of dread worsened when she heard it again.

“Leave me alone!” he cried again, a little more insistent.

Thinking logically, Claire quickly swapped her decent shirt for an old one, prepared to step in the way of the water if Connor was really in trouble.

She knocked on the door and started shouting back.

“Connor? Connor I’m coming in, you’re fine,” Claire said as she opened the door.

 

Lo and behold, there was Connor, sitting up in the foetal position under the warm water.

Despite how warm the water had to be for the mirror to steam up, Claire could see him shaking.

It took every ounce of willpower Claire had in her body to reach over Connor and turn the taps off.

Without the sound of the falling water, she could hear his whimpers and the way his artificial lungs so perfectly mimicked hyperventilation.

Thinking about comfort – and all-important safety – Claire took the towel she’d assigned to Connor from the rack and gently placed it around his shoulders, her arms following soon afterwards.

He pulled away, but she managed to gently lift his head, then slip her arms under his, slowly helping him out of the bath.

Connor stood for a moment in a solemn daze, oblivious to who he was seeing through his tear-clouded eyes. He couldn’t stand straight because his servos wanted to close in tight and protect himself, but there was nobody around.

Only Claire, close to tears, practically throwing herself back from him the moment he seemed capable of standing up on his own.

Just her luck that his legs currently had the structural integrity of jelly, causing him to slowly but surely sink back to his knees the moment she stepped away.

“I…”

He needed words, but all he heard was little noises in his artificial oesophagus that sounded like Sumo’s whines. Where was his intelligence when he needed it?

Claire felt her lip tremble and she unconsciously pulled it between her teeth to make it stop, catching Connor’s eye when he finally looked up.

“Hey, your fine,” Claire said in a maternal tone.

It was a lie, but so was her smile.

Right now, she wanted to leave the room and hide under a blanket, but Connor **needed** her.

“I’m here with you and we’re going to help each other through this mess, alright? There’s nothing here that could hurt you… maybe a rogue chair leg,” she added in a sudden desperation to keep her distance from Connor.

Connor’s lip twitched and he gave a half sad, half happy laugh, a few tears hitting the towel draped over his shoulders and loosening on his arms. Claire kneeled and then sat cross-legged, wriggling on her backside until she was in front of Connor.

Her hands were shaking a little, anticipating the feel of synthetic skin under her hands, but instead she got a handful of towel which concealed it and the shakes subsided to a shiver.

She wrapped the other hand gently around his arm and this time, as the towel slid over his shoulder, she touched his bare skin.

 

Connor hadn’t been expecting it and neither had Claire, but her touch was so soft, so careful, delicate even, that he had to look into her eyes.

They were blue and he had decided quite suddenly that he didn’t like blue, but he could bare to look at Claire’s icy eyes and her dark hair. She was almost majestic when her hair was draped over one shoulder – she looked like a Renaissance woman leaning down to give a poor beggar money.

In Connor’s case however, the only currency he cared about was companionship and Claire clearly had her reservations.

 _Harmless as a fly_ , Hank had once said, addressing Sumo.

Now that Connor let his mind wander to the though, Sumo’s hair was almost as long as Claire’s when he and Hank let it grow out too much.

He slowly slid the towel off one shoulder and stood up, taking Claire with him. The towel fell and Claire was blushing a little.

The man still didn’t understand some things about people.

Claire quickly collected the towel and draped it over Connor’s shoulder, lightly pressing her fingers into his right arm.

“Come on,” she said casually “We’ll watch some bad TV and hug this out. I’ve gotta get used to interacting with men down in the laundromat and there’s no way they’d let you into the DPD like this. A little quid pro quo never hurt… too many people.”

Connor perked up at the idea of a mission, of an objective, towel-drying himself and re-dressing behind closed doors. He came back out in baggy grey pants and a singlet which hid most of his bruises.

The ones on his neck drew her eyes still and she knew he could see her stare.

“Sit here,” Claire said quickly, pressing herself into one corner of the couch.

She mechanically patted the space between her legs; one curled in toward her thigh while the other was stretched out against the backrest of the couch to give Connor room to move.

He sat near Claire’s knee, propping himself up on his hands to move back and avoid squashing her legs. When he was settled in, he remained rigid and tried to think of something to calm himself, soothe his racing Thirium pump so that it was as close to normal as it could be. Claire saw Connor’s tense expression and the hint of worry that made his brow crease, so she carefully sat a hand on his inner elbow and pulled him toward her. He complied and felt strangely comfortable with his head resting under her chin, her shorter arms wrapped around his chest.

And then he cried again, unable to stop the inevitable flood of emotion.

Claire was afraid of being alone with Connor, but she kept her composure for his sake. Daniel and Reed were probably off harassing a new couple and now he was stuck under the label of victim and witness, meaning he couldn’t get involved with the case… and the DPD wouldn’t let him loose on Detroit until he passed a Psych test to say he was fit for duty. Claire leant in closer to Connor and rubbed across the top of his chest, the small repetitive movements of her hands making the sobs grow quieter.

Connor felt something warm hit the back of his neck and he stopped crying to find Claire in the same predicament – too many emotions at once seemed ill-boding for anybody, not just a human or an Android.

He wanted to say something, but instead Connor slid off the couch and then kneeled in front of Claire, wiping up tears from his own face with the shoulder straps of his singlet. “Could I...”

“It’s fine Connor, I’m just thinking about everything that’s been happening is all,” Claire said quickly, hoping to deflect whatever conversation Connor was trying to start.

“You were going to tell me something back in the hospital – something you lost? I was wondering if there’s any way I could help you find it,” Connor said with a serious expression.

Claire laughed just as Connor had, sad and happy at once.

“Connor, you can’t find someone’s virginity once they’ve lost it.”

The fading smile on Claire’s face and a quick analysis of the word virginity suddenly made Connor want to hold her in his arms and say sorry until his power supplies ran low. Hoping that luck and a large sum of deities were on his side, Connor sat his hands lightly on Claire’s shoulders and gingerly brought her toward his chest. “You don’t have to hold back Claire, it’s okay to cry,” Connor said with certainty.

Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck and brought him close, a loud sob making her entire body shake. Connor sat her head in the crook of his neck and kneeled their with her on the couch, letting their tears dry as the night crawled on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title (somewhat stolen) form Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas.


	12. All I Have To Do Is Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor finally powers down beside Claire and dreams of something quite pleasant... Claire herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is the name of a song by The Everly Brothers, 1970 (Yes, it's older than the characters on Connor's pyjamas!)

Connor and Claire had stayed on their knees hugging for at least ten minutes, but it felt like ten hours. Especially to their knees.

Claire rubbed her eyes and sat back, slipping her legs over to the edge of the couch cushion while Connor watched her every move to make sure she didn’t fall over him.

“What would you like to eat for dinner? There’s plenty of eggs and bread we could have,” Claire said quietly.

Claire got together what she needed and began cooking eggs while Connor put toast into the toaster and made sure it didn’t burn. He was good at telling when something was burnt, but Claire got mad at him once for saying she burnt meat; Claire and his own scans indicated that it was called char-grilling and that he had offended her.

That led Connor to a very logical decision: he would cook the meal next time.

Just as the toast popped up a nice shade of golden brown, Claire put two plates on the table before going to the fridge.

What the hell was she going to let Connor eat on his toast?

“Hey Connor, sweet or savoury?” she called “I don’t think that yo- ah!” Connor had grabbed Claire from behind and pulled her close, hugging her into silence.

For a moment Claire was frozen in fear, but when Connor leaned over her shoulder and pressed a light kiss to her cheek, she felt her heart beat faster.

The moment Connor’s sensors detected the change, he stepped back and silently sat at the table.

Claire closed the fridge and took out cream cheese, pressing a hand to her cheek. “What was that for?” she asked quietly.

Connor blushed and for once, he didn’t have a response.

He knew that he did it to assure her, to prevent her anxiety from worsening… any yet something inside his circuits and Thirium veins drove him to it.

“It seemed like the right thing to do,” he offered, quickly spreading some butter across his toast.

Claire sat back down next to Connor in her chair and took the butter knife from Connor’s outstretched hand. Connor wordlessly opened up the small jar of cream cheese and looked carefully at the label, identifying it as a substance similar to the cream from the pumpkin soup. Dairy products seemed to top his list of favourite foods despite having only eaten a single meal; expanding his palette would take a lot of time though, so he was happy to start small and figure out what was or wasn’t pleasant.

Claire was intrigued to see his reaction, but her countenance made it seem as though she was frustrated rather than enthusiastic.

“Put the cheese on yours first Connor – I think you need it more than me.”

Connor took the knife back and finished making his meal, passing it back to Claire and waiting for her to do the same. It didn’t seem fair to eat without her, so he sat there quietly watching the knife glide across Claire’s toast. He hadn’t been as graceful, but at least he hadn’t used half the jar like Hank when he put something on toast. Now that he thought of it, he might give him a ring in the morning to check in.

The last thing either of them needed was a worried old man calling them and reminding them of Daniel and Reed.

“You eating your toast or staring at mine all night?” Claire asked with a light smirk.

Connor blinked himself back into reality and picked it up, trying to take a decent mouthful.

The moment he did, he felt the cheese across the back of his teeth hit his artificial gums, then the toast crunched between them. It tasted good, but the toast was getting between his teeth and he disliked the feeling. Claire was watching him now for a reaction and Connor momentarily panicked, so he just stopped chewing, nodded to show that it wasn’t bad and continued on.

When he was finished chewing, he swallowed (something that seemed unnatural to him for the moment) and spoke.

“It’s very… what word would you use to described the texture? I understand that it’s a dairy product, but I can’t explain that feeling very well.”

“Smooth for the cream cheese,” Claire said “And most people would say toast is crunchy.”

“I’ll store that away for later use then,” he said with another nod.

Connor took a second bite and failed to notice a small stripe of the cheese dislodging itself form the toast and ending up near the corner of his mouth. Claire’s maternal instincts kicked in and she stood to lean over the table, carefully wiping it from Connor’s face while he was chewing.

He jumped and stopped chewing for a moment, having been lost in thought about what time to call Hank with his unruly schedule. Claire quickly mumbled an apology and ate quickly so that she could get to bed, so he did the same.

Connor felt his systems slowing down, a sure sign that he needed to power down and let his power levels replenish. But before he went to bed, he needed to apply the slave to his back with Claire’s help.

“Hey Claire?” Connor said as he walked over to the sink “Would you be able to help me with the salve from the techs? I might not have bones but even I can’t reach every part of my back.”

Claire smiled at his joke and nodded.

“Grab it and I’ll be done in a New York minute.”

Connor picked up the salve’s small container from the coffee table by the door to the stairwell and he felt a chill run up his spine. A part of him expected to see Daniel and Reed walk in, so he put the chain in its groove and slid it along; it would certainly give him peace of mind for the time being.

He turned around and Claire was leaning patiently on the arm of the lounge – she’d folded it out again and put the blankets out for him in a little pile.

Wordlessly, Claire took the salve form Connor’s hands and sat him at the end of the mattress so she could sit cross-legged behind him and apply it. She tapped him again and he made an odd face when the locked eyes. She pulled at her top and he realised that she’d need him to take off the singlet to treat his wounds. He obliged, but held it close to his chest because of the chill in the room.

Claire could see how deep in his back the wound had been. A deep but fairly thin line through his hard exterior which exposed his white skin underneath.

Using the gentlest touch, she rested the heel of her palm against an area of skin that was fully healed and began using her index finger to spread the salve down his spine, the position steadying her hand.

Connor felt the cold, smooth texture on his back and tensed for a moment, but once it was heated under Claire’s finger it was easy to relax his shoulders. The awkward ritual only lasted for a couple of minutes before Connor felt the small hand leave his back, prompting him to throw the singlet back on eagerly.

He didn’t want to say it, but it had felt quite pleasant to have Claire just make contact with him.

If it was her eyes, he stared right back; if it was her arms, he would hold her just the same; but the way she had so haphazardly brushed her thumb across his lips made his face grow warm.

Claire shut the salve’s lid and left Connor alone, surprised to see him pull on the singlet with eagerness, only to stop and stare down between his feet.

 _At least he’s not in pain_ , she told herself with confidence.

Claire decided to leave the salve on the kitchen bench in case Connor felt the need for it again. He was busy making his bed, so she kept the light on, hoping he’d see it before he went to sleep.

 

Connor heard Claire’s bedroom door creak as she closed it, but he was blissfully unaware of the fact that she left it open in case he needed comfort after a nightmare... or the reverse. He took his time to inhale and exhale calmly, but a shiver ran up his spine. Just as he entered low power mode, Connor felt a ghostly hand grab tightly onto his hip and he turned, sitting upright and shaking, a sound of panic escaping his oesophagus. The new sensation was unsettling and he felt his body quake for a moment – a warning told him it was a momentary malfunction in his sensors, but it felt too real. So real he scanned every inch of the room before he stood and walked into the bathroom and washed his face with some warm water. While he stood over the sink, cupping his hands and lightly splashing it onto himself, a hand took hold of his shoulder.

He froze, but a pair of blue eyes met his and he let himself breathe again. “Sorry I scared you Connor,” Claire said with a small smile “I heard you shout and the tap started running, so I came out to check on you. Must’ve been a pretty bad simulation to make you wash your face after a shower.” Connor smiled and laughed quietly, drying off his face with a handtowel.

“No. Just a system malfunction that made it feel as though someone grabbed onto me,” he said sheepishly.

 

Claire looked out of the bathroom door at Connor’s bed and sympathy took over.

“Sleeping in there is a trigger… but that only leaves my room.”

Connor still had the edge of the towel in his fingertips and stared at it for a moment before he calmly walked out of the room, collected a pillow from his bed and walked into Claire’s room.

She had moved out of his way but at the least, she expected him to say something.

For a moment she was angry enough to wrench open her bedroom door (even though she didn’t remember closing it) and called Connor’s name. When he turned around, her jaw loosened and her eyebrows jumped.

He had erected a barrier made of bedsheets along the middle of the bed.

“I didn’t think you’d enjoy the close contact so I made this to prevent it,” he said with a smile “And if one of us has a nightmare, then we can cross the barrier to calm whoever it is.”

Claire tried to make her face seem semi-happy as she nodded and carefully moved underneath the blankets, almost in sync with Connor. They both turned over to look at each other and Claire was the first to find her voice. “Good night again Connor.”

She gave him one last smile and closed her eyes; Connor heard her heartbeat slow down and soon she was breathing loudly, a sign that sleep had come quickly to her. He was pleasantly surprised that it could never compare to Hank’s impression of a lawnmower and found himself listening the sound as he relaxed under the blankets and entered low power mode.

 

_Connor found himself in a familiar icy land – the place he would always meet Amanda inside his processor. It was so cold his servos were freezing up, arms over his face to shield his visual receptors from the imminent damage the snow and sleet would cause. Despite his stabilizers being fully functional, Connor felt himself fall back and hit his head on a rock in the pathway he had walked to meet with Amanda countless times as a mindless machine._

_For a moment, he felt human in his reaction. He shouted in surprise as he fell, he then sat up groaning and cradled the back of his head in one hand._

_But when Connor looked down at his hand, he saw ruby red blood._

_He was panicked at the sight, but when a heartbeat, a human heartbeat met his ears, he felt as if he was going to shut down entirely. This ‘dream’ simulation wasn’t going the way he planned for it to – instead of walking through a peaceful space he’d cleared out himself and rebuilt, he felt cold and alone._

_A hand touched his shoulder and suddenly the pain at the back of his skull faded… and so did the snow._

_Deep blue eyes made his heart race and the snow continued to recede; the sleet and the ice under him that made him fall was gone; flowers defrosted and rose to full bloom, decorating the branches of the cherry blossoms._

_A few petals blew in the wind as the sky grew a brighter shade of blue and landed in Claire’s hair. She held out a hand to Connor and he took it, standing up slowly in case he’d been hurt elsewhere. On instinct, his hand moved out and plucked a petal from her hair, only to realise it was an entire flower._

_He hadn’t noticed because his eyes were roaming across her entire body as if he’d never seen it, staying for a moment on her chest and thighs._

_STOP._

_The voice in his head made him feel ashamed and he turned away._

_“Connor, are you okay?”_

_He didn’t have an answer – not one he could possible give her._

_“Did I do something wrong?”_

_“No, no of course not,” he rushed to say “You never have. I’ve never known how to show my emotions like the others. Sure, sometimes I break out of my old speech patterns but I just become ‘Connor the Android Detective’ again a minute or two later!”_

_Claire held his gaze and considered what he said for a moment, stepping a little closer to him._

_“Well then Connor the Android Detective, tell me how this makes you feel.”_

_The moment the last word had left her lips, Claire took hold of Connor’s collar and kissed him square on the lips._

_His sensors had no experience to simulate whatever sensation people experienced when they kissed, but Connor could feel his heart race and something seemed to be building up inside his stomach…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm going there ;)


	13. Hard Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor doesn't go through with his first sexual experience and Claire has a plan... but will it help her come out of her shell or push Connor further into his?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the MASSIVE hiatus but so many things happened after June 2018, so I was a total mess.
> 
> Now that I'm studying Creative Writing at University however, I plan to write more in this and many of my other fics!

Claire woke up before Connor and noticed that his stomach moved up and down while he slept rather than staying motionless. If a person didn’t breathe, they were dead. If Connor didn’t breathe, it could be the same, or it might not. Amazingly, CyberLife had been smart enough to understand how to make them so lifelike they could easily be mistaken for a human without their LED.  
She hadn’t said it yet, but Claire secretly wished Connor would remove his.  
It looked like a part of him that he might not let go of, but perhaps he was being held back by it. Or by memories of his past as a machine and clinging to them out of obedience to his old protocol.   
But whatever the reason, it was none of her business unless he said something. Besides, a nice morning breakfast seemed in order and clearly, they’d both need one after last night’s odd antics… and she’d move the table under the window so it would be harder to be afraid of the house.  
And maybe, just maybe, they’d go see Ralph when they were both up to it.

Connor woke to the smell of bacon sizzling in a frying pan and sat up, stretching out his limbs and moving his hips. Something didn’t feel right.  
He was tense, but not in his hips themselves or even where servos tended to freeze up, like fingers or an ankle. Convinced something was wrong, Connor stood and went to the bedroom door, poking his head around the corner before ducking into the bathroom and locking the door.  
“Did you just lock the door Connor?” Claire called to him “I thought we agreed that was a bad idea?”  
For a moment he was about to agree and open it, but when he looked down toward his feet, he couldn’t see them properly.  
His newest additional limb was in the way pointing up toward him like an accusatory finger. He got half way through saying something to Claire, but he trailed off in shock.  
“Yeah it is, but I don’t… think…”  
“What don’t you think Connor?” Claire asked, taken aback by his uncertainty.  
“Uh, I think I’ve encountered a bug,” he said politely “Best not to come in here!”  
He was a little more insistent now that he could hear her outside the door.  
“Connor, are you sure that you’re okay? Maybe you aren’t used to something and it’s odd to you – that happens to a lot of people when they change. It’s like you’re going through –”  
Claire suddenly fell deadly silent and Connor got worried.  
When he heard her whisper “- Android puberty”, he was sure she knew exactly what was going on.  
“This… problem you have?”  
“What about it?” he shot back, hoping the lack of silence might make his face turn a less obvious shade of blue.  
“It’s…”  
Claire, you’re a grown woman for God’s sake! Say dick, penis, anything!  
“It’s one of the upgrades isn’t it?”  
Not a virgin but you still can’t say penis – genius.  
“Yes – the genitals particularly.”  
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh…  
But she did – all too loudly. Connor heard it and opened the door a little, checking to see if she was alright. She had to be, because she was leaning on his bed with a hand over her mouth to make her cackling a little quieter.  
Claire jumped at the sight of those two brown eyes piercing her and wandering to her chest for a moment too long.  
She knew enough about reproduction to understand what morning wood was and how to get rid of it, but she was sure there’d never been a lesson about telling someone how to do it to their face.  
“Sorry, um, look up masturbation and you’ll figure everything out on your own,” she blurted out as her cheeks turned cherry red.  
Connor ducked back form the door a little as he searched his memory banks for the definition of the word… and he became an even icier shade of blue.  
He had an erection and Claire – angel that she is – was clearly too shy to explain what he had to do. Based on the information he could find, he’d just have to have his first orgasm on the bathroom floor while the woman he was falling for was on the other side… definitely not a good way to start the healing process.  
No, there had to be a better way.  
So, feeling ashamed and being blue in the face, Connor opened the door a little more, saw Claire stare at him and gave her a signal to turn around with his hand. The moment she did he darted back into her room and closed the door, trying to think of a good way to get rid of his artificial ejaculate when the deed was done.  
Hoping Claire was always prepared, he apologised to Claire’s half of the bed and opened the bedside drawer. He thanked RA9 that she happened to have an unopened pack of condoms in there and found himself wishing Daniel, Reed or Ralph had used one.  
Shaking his head of the thought, Connor looked at the instructions in his usual methodical fashion and managed to put the latex barrier on himself without asking for help. (Not that he planned one doing so at all).  
Thinking ahead, Connor decided to lay back and try to shut out the world around him. If he wanted to relax, he needed to be in a relaxing mindset and move certain memories to the back of his mind. In the spirit of getting rid of his problem and calming himself down, Connor closed his eyes and took hold of himself, a small sound leaving his lips.  
The new sensors were definitely working.  
Remembering that any loud sounds might catch Claire’s attention, Connor quietly cleared his throat and took a clam breath as he moved his hand in a slow pull: he wasn’t sure he had a word yet to describe it, so he settled for pleasurable.   
The sensors in his stomach roared to life, simulating pressure from the inside of his body – something he found unsettling.

So unsettling he sat up, threw away the condom, tucked himself away and vowed to never do it again.  
Now that his problem was settled with a mere thought, he understood now; he could think of something boring, annoying or work-related and his issue would simply become a secondary rather than a primary process.  
Stalking to the door, Connor opened it and Claire was sitting in her chair, facing him, eating her eggs and bacon with a noticeable blush.  
He caught her eye and quickly found himself a shirt and pants to wear for the day: casual attire wasn’t his forte, but he managed to find something that didn’t look entirely horrendous.  
He ducked into the bathroom and changed, a knock at the door surprising him.  
“Connor, how would you feel about taking a walk today?” Claire asked.  
Connor pulled the drawstring on his pants and opened the door, his shirt sitting over the edge of the sink. Claire looked visibly taken aback by his faint nudity, but she composed herself and forced herself to look between the sink and Connor’s eyes.  
“It depends on where you’re planning to walk,” Connor said, cutting off the urge to inform Claire of the route which was less likely to yield unwanted attention.  
“Well, it’s not really a walk – I thought we’d go and visit Ralph or invite him over here. It’s not just the two of us that need to get past this.”  
The expression was stoic, but betrayed her inner turmoil.  
Claire had something planned and she was clearly not going to back down or tell Connor what it was, so he refused himself the option to press further.  
“I agree,” Connor said before picking up his shirt and quickly pulling it over his head.  
“There’s breakfast waiting for you when you’re ready,” Claire said as she stepped out of Connor’s way “I haven’t finished mine yet.”  
Connor looked back and nodded with a smile. It wasn’t until they were both seated that he thanked her for his meal.  
“When I’ve eaten more food, do you think I should cook for you? It seems only fair that I should take part in everything around here, like cleaning and cooking.”  
Claire was mid-cut, but she abandoned the bacon (a monthly occurrence, not a regular one) and looked at him thoughtfully.  
“Why? You already work most of the week and you’ve barely started eating food!” she said quickly.  
Realising she sounded worried rather than surprised, Claire cleared her throat and took up her knife and fork again.  
Connor noticed her eagerness to work and he smiled. Humans had a tendency to force androids into manual labour, yet Claire was kind and considerate enough to allow him time to rest despite his inability to feel fatigue.  
She was the kind of person he hoped he would become one day – or at least develop her traits. So, he nodded as if he didn’t find her outburst odd and began to enjoy his new taste experience.  
Egg yolk was his new favourite texture – it was creamy, silky and was best served warm with salt and pepper. However, he did sneeze when he used the pepper shaker and the sound was so foreign to Claire she giggled.  
He shouldn’t find it attractive that she giggled at him sometimes, but hell if she didn’t giggle harder when he gave her an awkward grin as if he’d never smiled before; teeth bared and the semblance of a smile being worn away by the presence of his large maxillaries on the top row.  
When he washed down the meal with some orange juice – a flavour and texture he found did not go together in his opinion – he decided that next time he would strain his. The pieces were going to get stuck and annoy him all day.

Though she protested twice, Connor insisted on doing the dishes while Claire went to change into something more appropriate for a home visit than a lazy day inside the house. She emerged from her bedroom with a distant smile and a puzzled furrow to her brow; she probably found the unused condom sitting at the bottom of her small garbage bin, curious to know why he stopped.  
But she didn’t ask.  
Instead she checked herself in the bathroom mirror, brushed her hair and teeth and sat on the arm of the couch.  
Not that he’d answer if she’d asked – that’s definitely too personal to give an answer to. The moment the last glass was in the drying rack, Connor dried his hands on a handtowel and tapped Claire on the shoulder. She jumped a little, but he kept his tone soft to avoid frightening her any more.  
“Ready to go?” he asked politely.  
Claire nodded and gave a quiet “Yes”, before they headed downstairs.  
When they got outside, there was a police car parked across the street and one of the DPD officers from the hospital was there; Connor knew his name was Sergeant Willis, a new recruit put in place of… him.  
“Sergeant Willis, would you like some help with those?” he offered.  
“Told’ya before Connor: first names when we’re out of uniforms and don’t apologise. Just tell us oyu understand.”  
Sergeant Willis turned around and Claire noted that he was out of uniform, save for his pants. There was no gun holster, no badges and definitely no standard-issue police vest.  
“Right, understood. Then I guess my other question is what are you doing here then Aaron?” Connor added with raised brows.  
“Ralph is redecorating and CyberLife has asked us to help him recuperate; that bug that infected him really messed him up. I had some old things I wanted to get rid of and Ralph happens to like most of it.”  
He looked over at Claire and he blanched, quickly turning his eyes back to Connor.  
“How are you two, uh… coping?” he asked with a weak smile.  
Connor thought the question a bit taboo but Claire was quick to jump in.  
“Coping is the very reason we’ve come across the street – I wanted to talk to Ralph for a bit so we could acclimatise, you might say.”  
Aaron nodded and handed a small box to Claire, a larger one to Connor and another large one for himself. They walked in through the back door and saw Ralph in his laundry room covering the wall with plaster where he had religiously scrawled the word RA9. Now that he knew the truth – that Kara was the one he’d been worshipping – he decided that instead he would put photos from her and his other friends on the wall in picture frames.  
“It’ll have me, happy and new,” he said to himself “Kara, little Alice, Luther, as many of the Jerry’s as he could fit, Con – ”  
He stopped when a hand rested on his shoulder.  
His sensors told him that it wasn’t Connor, but Claire, and he froze up. He couldn’t will himself to move for a fraction of a second, but then suddenly composed himself and turned around.  
Ralph’s working tear ducts betrayed him and his eyes watered while his lips lifted into a smile.  
“Hi Claire. I was just covering all this up so I could make a collage,” he said with feigned confidence, the tears receding “Sound good to you?”  
Claire saw Aaron and Connor place the boxes at the floor of the stairs, so she quickly dumped hers beside them and looked back at Ralph.  
“Would you mind changing your hair back to blonde Ralph?”  
Aaron dropped the box filled with new linen and some old clothes he planned on giving to Goodwill and Connor – still kneeling – suddenly had his back as straight as a ruler.  
“Why would you want me to do that?” he said, glancing over at Connor and Aaron.  
It became apparent that he should move the conversation, so he put down the plaster, covered it over to stop it from drying and left the door half open so Connor or Aaron could check in on them.  
After ushering her in, he sighed heavily.

“You’re sure about this? Nobody put you up to it or said it was the best choi – “  
Claire put up a hand and shook her head, lips trembling.  
“I hate the idea of reliving that night but I can’t live in fear of you forever, redhead or not Ralph,” she said as a tear slid down her cheek “Connor needs your help too – he’s afraid of men and so am I, but the best we’ve gotten is a hug from each other and...”  
A shudder ran through her entire body and her heart began to beat faster.  
“I don’t want the three of us to hate one another because of what happened or always be afraid of each other – I want us to have a happy smiling picture on that wall someday. But first we need to be ourselves instead of putting up walls or pretending things are okay. Of course they aren’t.”  
Ralph could see her shaking and when she fell to her knees, he could almost feel the pain of it. As a sob tore itself from her throat, Ralph let his hair slowly fade from the fiery colour it’s usually crisp blonde and pulled her into his chest, wetting his deep green shirt where her eyes met the soft fabric.  
Soothing her with rubs up and down her back, saying “shh” in the gentlest tone he could manage, he brought on his own emotional release.  
“I know: it hurts to be here with me but at the same time you want to run, but it’s okay,” he said as he pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head “If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”  
To show he meant it, Ralph lifted his hands away from Claire’s back and she leant back to look up at him. For a moment it seemed like she was going to run back out, but instead, she tentatively put her arms around his neck and brought his head into the crook of her neck.  
“Thank you,” she said quietly into his ear.  
Ralph gave her another quick hug, squeezing her a little to make sure she knew he was glad they could talk and be friends again. She quivered as he let her go, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.  
Ralph followed suite while Claire made her way back out to the other two men unpacking boxes. She saw Connor glance back over his shoulder and stand up quickly, taking a small pile of clothes with him. She would never find out, but he had been glancing back the entire time she was with Ralph – one scream, shout or cry and he would’ve walked in with his fists raised.  
“Would you like to help me organise Ralph’s clothes?” he asked “You are the professional in the room when it comes to caring for textiles.”  
Claire gave him a smile and picked up the linen sheets for Ralph’s bed – the one piece of furniture that hadn’t been replaced in the house. But being an old place, when the upstairs floors were rebuilt, it did get a little wear and tear which they had both lovingly fixed with some plaster to cover any scratches or chips (Ralph’s favourite task being to spread it like potting soil) and a bit of paint.  
She took off the moth-eaten fitted sheet and replaced it with a set Aaron said he had to get rid of because it belonged to an ex-girlfriend. Suddenly Connor was asking what a relationship was like and it made the mood change from solemn to awkward, considering what had happened in their lives.  
“I guess it’s like finding out what your favourite algorithm or set of numbers is for most people,” Aaron said, hoping he didn’t sound too ridiculous “But that’s when it’s love. Some relationships turn sour like milk after a long while or they seem sweet and then get sour later on like a sherbet candy. I’d recommend you try one.”  
Connor’s brow furrowed for a moment as he passed Claire some matching pillow cases for the sheets and doona cover. Aaron realised his mistake and corrected himself.  
“Sherbet candies I mean: wait a few months or at least until you’re more comfortable around people before you try dating.”  
Connor gave him a look that said he understood but decided not to enquire any further. He knew already how hard it was to battle his fear of men – android or not – and only noticed the little shakes and shivers he got when Ralph or Aaron took something form him.  
But when Claire was around, he could relax and even hold a lengthy conversation with her. Of course, he digressed; Aaron was new, an unfamiliar face he couldn’t associate with anything that occurred in his past.  
And quite frankly, he looked so much like Connor he didn’t really feel as afraid as he did of Ralph.

By midday the shelves throughout the house were cleaned, Ralph’s bedroom was furnished and the shelves in the bathroom looked far tidier than they had before; no longer strewn with drugs and their accompanying utensils and being covered in a new coat of paint meant Ralph could fill it up with whatever he deemed necessary to maintain himself. Claire and Connor had been working on the finer details like clothing, accessorising (something Connor found quite enjoyable despite preferring to put clothes on, not store them away by colour like he suffered OCD) and generally cleaning up while Aaron gave Ralph a hand with the repairs. Aaron wasn’t an idiot, but he knew this amount of contact with Ralph was difficult for the younger two, so he decided it was best to pair up and not let anyone feel as though they were being ganged up on or threatened.  
“Thank you for all your help,” he said with a big smile to Claire, Connor and Aaron, dusting himself when he realised there were flecks of paint across his ribs and chest.  
He awkwardly cleared his throat and smiled again.  
“I was wondering if everyone would like to come back later to share a meal? I started a herb and vegetable garden just before the accident; after my owner’s outburst and getting fixed up I thought it would be nice to make something good of it.”  
Aaron politely declined, but decided to stay a little longer to talk to Connor – he’d been trembling almost all day and it wasn’t okay, no matter what the android did or didn’t say.  
“I’d be okay with it – Connor?”  
Connor glanced to Claire and then back at Ralph: his eyes had been fixed on him the entire time but it wasn’t until now that he truly woke up and began to take in information.  
He was scared again.  
“Of course,” he answered with a forced smile.  
Aaron said a quick goodbye but waited outside by his car while Claire, Connor and Ralph looked in the direction he’d rushed off in.  
“That’s odd,” Ralph said “He didn’t start up his car yet.”  
Claire acknowledged this and asked Connor to follow her, something grabbing hold of her wrist.


End file.
